Reflections From a Country Girl

Last week I received a brightly colored envelope through inner office mail. It was packed with cards telling me that each designer was glad I was going to be their pen pal for the year. They asking me many questions about who I was, did I have children, and even how old I was. The cards also invited me to come and meet them, read a story if I had time and go to lunch.

I have displayed each of those cards on my wall in the office…including the envelope they came in.

When you get cards like that, you want to keep them and look at them often.

I plan on saving each one and placing them in my family memory book for this year. They remind me how creative young people are and how special they are to me for taking the time to make and send the cards.

I went to visit Ms. Hite’s 2nd graders earlier this week.

It was the most fun I had all week long.

Her classroom was inviting to walk in to. The children were busily finishing up math as I entered the room. They moved quietly to their seats and waited until I got settled into a very special rocking chair.

The rocking chair once belonged to Ms. Hite’s grandmother. I suspect her grandmother read many stories to her while sitting in that chair. The chair is now in a distinctive place of honor in her classroom where she and other visitors read to her students.

I was honored to be sitting there.

The boys and girls gathered around on the floor and we talked. Young people have inquisitive minds and ask lots of great questions. These boys and girls introduced themselves and asked intelligent questions in a very respectful way.

Their thoughts quickly turned to reading a story. I have just written a book of short stories about my life and I read a few of the tales to them. They had lots of questions and comments after each one.

Since my book has a scene of a country road with lots of trees on the front cover, I asked my mother, who is also very creative, to design and make a refrigerator leaf magnet for each of the children. We talked a few minutes about the leaves changing on the trees this time of year and I shared the unique leaves with each child so they could remember our first visit together.

Reading time soon came to an end and we were off to lunch and recess.

My first visit with Ms. Hite’s class was wonderful. It reminded me that being young is a fantastic time of life. It’s a time when you have lots of energy and creativity, are anxious to learn and share your thoughts, and believe good things are going to happen in your life.

I expect to see great things happening from each of these students and I will be proud to say I knew them when they were young. Who knows? I may even have the signature of a future president of the USA in my memory book!

My wish for you today is that you have a chance to be with children in a class like Ms. Hite’s. Taking the time to visit, read, volunteer, learn from students, and see young minds active in a positive way is important for us as adults. It reminds us that every child has the potential to make a difference in the world today.

Thanks, Ms. Hite’s class, for reminding me of that.

~ Joellen

My father had a little tradition around holidays and special occasions. He ALWAYS brought my mother a box of chocolate covered cherries. We kids watched him do that every time it was her birthday or a holiday.

My mother always seemed thrilled to get those candies. She would share one with each of us as she carefully unwrapped the plastic covering, but then we would never see the box again. I suspect she ate every one of the others all by herself when we weren’t looking.

For years after my father died, we kids made sure Mom had those same chocolates when a holiday came. Every once in a while my son shares a box with her even today.

It brings back good memories of that simple tradition for all of us.

I stopped by my favorite jewelry store yesterday. In this particular jewelry store they have a candy dish near the register. It’s always full of colorful hard candy. I am not generally tempted by hard candy and don’t pay much attention to it. However, this time, there was a large pumpkin full of chocolates on the other side of that counter.

Now that’s temptation.

Put chocolate in front of me and I’ll do most anything.

I was polite and asked if I could have a piece of candy from the pumpkin as I peered over the edge and deep down in the container. I thought to myself that the good candy is most often on the bottom and I began sorting through the pumpkin to find the perfect piece. It didn’t take long to come out with just the right selection.

“One of my favorites.” I said as I smiled and smelled the wrapper. “Mummmm.”

We all laughed as I savored the sweet treat piece by piece.

We continued talking about a holiday sale they are going to have soon as thoughts of my mother, my father and chocolate covered cherries filled my head. One of the employees said they were considering a chocolate fondue with tasty strawberries and other delights to serve during the event. Cherries would be good, I thought, as I remembered the ones my father lovingly shared with my mother each year.

We all agreed that chocolate was just the right temptation as we didn’t know many women who could refuse it at any time of the year, but especially around the high stress holidays.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t have to have a chocolate fondue set up to enjoy chocolate. Country girls enjoy the simplest of chocolates…be it tootsie rolls, dum dums or chocolate covered cherries.

Of course, men, you would fair well to not expect a country girl to let you get by with a bar of candy and that’s it. She may be calling you the “dum dum” then! Women can buy inexpensive chocolates for themselves, but they likely expect you to do better than that.

My wish for you today is that you enjoy chocolates often in your life – in moderation of course – but enjoy them none the less. Remember to thank the one who gives you chocolates along the way. Those tasty treats go a long way to making happy memories!

~ Joellen

A friend, Merry, and I decided to take a long walk yesterday. The wind was brisk and you could tell it was going to be the coolest evening we’ve had in a long time. Her girls and a friend went on their bikes and scooter with us.

We’ve walked around her neighborhood hundreds of times before. It was after 5 pm when we started and traffic was a little heavier than usual on the main roads.

“Let’s go this way.” the girls said.

“Ok, there will be less traffic.” Merry replied.

We walked into part of the subdivision that was being developed. At the end of one of the houseless cul-de-sacs we stopped and viewed the lake at the bottom of the cliff we were standing on.

“Wow, that’s beautiful.” we exclaimed. From all indications it was going to be a stunning sunset.

“Let’s go down the dirt road.” One of the girls said. “Yeah, yeah,” we heard as the others jumped up and down. They were adventurers; too, I thought as we all agreed to take that path.

So, the five of us ventured over the mound of uneven road and down the bluff to the lake. We could hear the Broad River nearby. The bushes and trees were thick for most of the journey down. You could see the glistening lake to the left and a heavy cover of trees to the right between us and the river.

We never made it to the river.

The site of the lake and the walk down that road through the woods and bushes consumed our time.

The sun was setting and we needed to turn around and head back, but not before Merry and I agreed that this was our bit of country life.

On the way back, right at the bottom of the cliff, my cellphone rang. It was my publisher friend, Charles, calling to see if I had received my first copy of the book I had just written – Sardines, Cheese and Soda Crackers: Reflections From a Country Girl.

“In case I sound out of breath, you need to know I’m climbing up a mountain, Charles.” I said as we talked.

He would have laughed if he’d seen what I called a mountain. While it was a very steep incline to the top of the cliff, it was really just a hill…but a beautiful one at that.

Now, I have a new “country road” to travel on – at least until they start building houses on the bluff.

When I get a chance, I’ll take my camera and get a picture of it for you before it disappears. Country roads have a tendency of disappearing in this world today.

You have to take your country paths while you can in the city, and this one will be well etched in my memory for a very long time. Yes, I will definitely walk this way again.

My wish for you today is that you have a chance to walk a country path as often in your life as possible. It’s so different from walking on a well paved street. Things are most often fresher, cleaner and calmer when you’re on a country road. You may even be lucky enough to find one nearby.

~Joellen

Lee Greenwood made the song – God Bless the U.S.A. – a song we all know the words for. It’s a touching tribute to the freedoms we have in America.

Sometimes I think we take those freedoms for granted…especially around election time.

Early in my son’s life, his father and I took him with us to vote. We wanted that to be a natural part of his life so we started him early getting use to going with us on Election Day.

There are many teachable moments at the voting sites. Pierce was full of questions and we tried to be patient and answer them honestly while we were there.

I’ll never forget when I was waiting for four year old Pierce and his father to come out of the voting booth. His Dad was carefully selecting his candidates when a young voice said loudly from behind the curtains, “Why did you vote for HIM?”

Everyone laughed.

The conversation got even funnier when he came out and said, “Mom. Did you vote for that Reagan man for pwezeedint?”

Yes, voting is a God given right that, often times, too many of us take for granted.

Now I don’t really care who you vote for, that’s your business…and a private one at that as far as I’m concerned. I’m just anxious about the many who’ve decided not to vote at all. What ARE they thinking?

There are those individuals who are extremely passionate about their candidates and who want to make darn sure you know why they believe in them.

Once, I got caught up in working on the Nixon campaign when I was at college in the dark ages. It’s easy when you’re young to get swept up quickly by those who are campaigning for a candidate they believe strongly in.

One good thing about that experience was that I did get to meet one – the only one I’ve ever met – presidential candidate when Nixon came to visit Spartanburg on the campaign trail that year. I was good friends with the “Young Republicans” Leader that year and he talked me into being a part of the effort.

There are so many things in today’s world we have little power over. Voting is one way to let your voice be heard. Its part of what it means to be an American…that we have the freedom to vote for whomever we wish without persecution. That’s quite a blessing considering there are those in other countries who get killed on the way too and from the voting poll.

Like Lee Greenwood says in his song, “There’s pride in EVERY American heart, and it’s time to stand and say I’m Proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.” In my words I’d add “…where at least I know I’m free – to vote.”

My Wish for you today is that you mark your calendar now and make certain you vote for your candidates on Election Day…whoever they are. It’s your responsibility as an American to make sure your voice is heard with the many others that will vote that day. If you have children, make it a teachable moment for them so they learn – from your example – the importance and privilege of living and voting in the U.S.A.

~ Joellen

There’s this funny song the country singer, Blake Shelton, croons – Some Beach.

If you know the song, you’re smiling already.

While the chorus of the tune deals with the beach – palm trees growin’ and warm breezes blowin’ – several of the verses are about people who are – shall we say – prone to road rage.

Blake mentions in one of those verses that he’s trying to find a spot in the parking lot for his old truck and is waiting patiently for someone to back out when, out of nowhere, this fancy Mercedes whips right in.

Has that happened to you?

While this has occurred more than once to me, the most “memorable” time was when my young son and I were pulling into a spot at a local store after riding with our windows down on a breezy weekend day. We had literally turned, heading into the spot, when this van comes out of nowhere and zips right in the space.

I sat there stunned for a second. The man quickly opened the door and jumped out. I shook my head in disbelief and said as I drove off “You should know better than that.”

“Did I miss something, I asked my son.” I said as we turned the curve.

“No, he was coming in fast from the road, Mom.” He said. “I’m glad I wasn’t walking in front of him. He probably would have hit me to get to that spot.” He exclaimed.

I glanced up into my rearview mirror as I pulled around slowly to the next row and saw that same man running – yes running – after my car.

Telling my son to roll up his window as I rolled mine up, I moved on around the end of the next row, all the while with the man running after my car – row by row – until I finally decided to head out into the open parking area where no cars were.

Yes, you guessed it. He ran after me in the open space as the woman he was with – I assumed his wife – stood at the entrance of that store watching with other unbelieving store employees and customers.

I finally saw a space close by and pulled in, thinking he would have cooled off – or worn himself out – by then.

That was not the case.

That man literally ran up to my car – tried to get the locked doors open as I continued shaking my head. We watched him kick my tires several times while he was yelling and screaming.

Did we ever get out of the car?

Nope.

We finally decided to drive off after the car parked in front of us pulled out – all the while as the man continued running after our car. I probably should have made the decision to leave much sooner but we really needed to get something specific from that particular store.

I did drive around and get his license tag number before I headed out.

Once out of the parking lot I called a policeman friend of mine to tell him what happened. I decided not to go any further with it because, if I had filed a report, I would have had to put my street address down on the paperwork.

I figured I didn’t want a man that out of control knowing where we lived.

We never went back to shop at that store again.

Then there was the time, the song goes, where the singer was riding down the road in his truck, running late as he was singing Margaritaville. He explains that a car pulls up behind him with the “road rage attitude,” glides up beside him and the driver flips him a bird as he zooms off.

Yes, there are those folks prone to road rage out there among us.

You may even be one of them.

What we need to realize when we encounter one of these situations is that, most often, it is not about us when this happens. Just pity the person who has to live with someone like that. They are probably the ones that are the recipient of anger and rage on a regular basis.

These days, if you behave like this in public, you should be very aware that it is just plain dangerous to be aggressive with someone. Darn, they may have a knife or gun and pull it out in self defense.

So if you are someone who finds yourself in the midst of one of these tirades – the first rule is – protect yourself and the people you love.

In most cases, when road rage is involved – you have the protection of your car. If the road rage driver follows you – don’t drive to your home. Drive to a police station while you – or your passenger – call on your cell to let them know you are headed that way because of a road rage driver following you.

If you don’t know where the station is, call 911 and get help that way.

Whatever you do, do not get out of the car to try to settle things on your own. If that driver has the capability of those kinds of angry outbursts, he/she could easily take it out on you.

Remember, it is NOT usually about you. If you made a mistake – like we all can do from time to time – that’s ok. We all have choices about how to deal with these kinds of situations. Most of us choose to mark it up to life and go on about our business. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone when that happens. Just make sure you are safe.

So where is the hope and inspiration in all of this?

There is good news. People who act like this can learn to behave in a different way.

It’s all about choices.

If you are a road rage kind of driver, you need to seriously stop and think what you are doing when you get that out of control. Ask yourself why in the world you are reacting so strongly? Are you just having a bad day or do you do this ALL the time? Do you have trouble managing your anger? Have you let it build up for so long that it is bound to spill out into everyday life in this way?

I’d venture to say that, if your answer is yes to any of these questions, you are an unhappy person.

So, you have several choices.

You can go on living your life like this forever. You can continue intimidating people, taking your anger out on loved ones and people you don’t even know. OR, you can find some help dealing with issues that take you to these dark, angry places.

Life is just too short to stay angry. There are wonderful, kind, and thoughtful people out there that can help you sort through issues and become a happier, healthier you.

My wish for you today is that you are never the recipient of a road rage incident. My wish for those of you who have the “road rage attitude” is that you find out what it is about your life that is causing such unhappiness and get someone to help you fix it. There’s no disgrace in that. We all need help from time to time.

Like the song says, “some beach, somewhere, there’s a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair.” That chair could just have you sitting in it with life being a happier and more peaceful place for you and the ones you love.

~ Joellen