Some Beach
There’s this funny song the country singer, Blake Shelton, croons – Some Beach.
If you know the song, you’re smiling already.
While the chorus of the tune deals with the beach – palm trees growin’ and warm breezes blowin’ – several of the verses are about people who are – shall we say – prone to road rage.
Blake mentions in one of those verses that he’s trying to find a spot in the parking lot for his old truck and is waiting patiently for someone to back out when, out of nowhere, this fancy Mercedes whips right in.
Has that happened to you?
While this has occurred more than once to me, the most “memorable” time was when my young son and I were pulling into a spot at a local store after riding with our windows down on a breezy weekend day. We had literally turned, heading into the spot, when this van comes out of nowhere and zips right in the space.
I sat there stunned for a second. The man quickly opened the door and jumped out. I shook my head in disbelief and said as I drove off “You should know better than that.”
“Did I miss something, I asked my son.” I said as we turned the curve.
“No, he was coming in fast from the road, Mom.” He said. “I’m glad I wasn’t walking in front of him. He probably would have hit me to get to that spot.” He exclaimed.
I glanced up into my rearview mirror as I pulled around slowly to the next row and saw that same man running – yes running – after my car.
Telling my son to roll up his window as I rolled mine up, I moved on around the end of the next row, all the while with the man running after my car – row by row – until I finally decided to head out into the open parking area where no cars were.
Yes, you guessed it. He ran after me in the open space as the woman he was with – I assumed his wife – stood at the entrance of that store watching with other unbelieving store employees and customers.
I finally saw a space close by and pulled in, thinking he would have cooled off – or worn himself out – by then.
That was not the case.
That man literally ran up to my car – tried to get the locked doors open as I continued shaking my head. We watched him kick my tires several times while he was yelling and screaming.
Did we ever get out of the car?
Nope.
We finally decided to drive off after the car parked in front of us pulled out – all the while as the man continued running after our car. I probably should have made the decision to leave much sooner but we really needed to get something specific from that particular store.
I did drive around and get his license tag number before I headed out.
Once out of the parking lot I called a policeman friend of mine to tell him what happened. I decided not to go any further with it because, if I had filed a report, I would have had to put my street address down on the paperwork.
I figured I didn’t want a man that out of control knowing where we lived.
We never went back to shop at that store again.
Then there was the time, the song goes, where the singer was riding down the road in his truck, running late as he was singing Margaritaville. He explains that a car pulls up behind him with the “road rage attitude,” glides up beside him and the driver flips him a bird as he zooms off.
Yes, there are those folks prone to road rage out there among us.
You may even be one of them.
What we need to realize when we encounter one of these situations is that, most often, it is not about us when this happens. Just pity the person who has to live with someone like that. They are probably the ones that are the recipient of anger and rage on a regular basis.
These days, if you behave like this in public, you should be very aware that it is just plain dangerous to be aggressive with someone. Darn, they may have a knife or gun and pull it out in self defense.
So if you are someone who finds yourself in the midst of one of these tirades – the first rule is – protect yourself and the people you love.
In most cases, when road rage is involved – you have the protection of your car. If the road rage driver follows you – don’t drive to your home. Drive to a police station while you – or your passenger – call on your cell to let them know you are headed that way because of a road rage driver following you.
If you don’t know where the station is, call 911 and get help that way.
Whatever you do, do not get out of the car to try to settle things on your own. If that driver has the capability of those kinds of angry outbursts, he/she could easily take it out on you.
Remember, it is NOT usually about you. If you made a mistake – like we all can do from time to time – that’s ok. We all have choices about how to deal with these kinds of situations. Most of us choose to mark it up to life and go on about our business. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone when that happens. Just make sure you are safe.
So where is the hope and inspiration in all of this?
There is good news. People who act like this can learn to behave in a different way.
It’s all about choices.
If you are a road rage kind of driver, you need to seriously stop and think what you are doing when you get that out of control. Ask yourself why in the world you are reacting so strongly? Are you just having a bad day or do you do this ALL the time? Do you have trouble managing your anger? Have you let it build up for so long that it is bound to spill out into everyday life in this way?
I’d venture to say that, if your answer is yes to any of these questions, you are an unhappy person.
So, you have several choices.
You can go on living your life like this forever. You can continue intimidating people, taking your anger out on loved ones and people you don’t even know. OR, you can find some help dealing with issues that take you to these dark, angry places.
Life is just too short to stay angry. There are wonderful, kind, and thoughtful people out there that can help you sort through issues and become a happier, healthier you.
My wish for you today is that you are never the recipient of a road rage incident. My wish for those of you who have the “road rage attitude” is that you find out what it is about your life that is causing such unhappiness and get someone to help you fix it. There’s no disgrace in that. We all need help from time to time.
Like the song says, “some beach, somewhere, there’s a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair.” That chair could just have you sitting in it with life being a happier and more peaceful place for you and the ones you love.
~ Joellen