Reflections From a Country Girl

Martina McBride has always been one of my favorite female country singers. I first heard her sing a song called “Valentine” that she and Jim Brickman did some years ago.

Around this time of year I just hum that song all the time. It’s a beautiful song of love that can speak to everyone’s heart.

Martina recently released another song I enjoy. It’s called “Anyway” and it encourages those of us who may work hard, love hard and do the best we can all our lives just to have something happen that changes things dramatically.

She explains in the song that you just have to keep on loving, working hard, believing anyway because the alternative is bitterness and negativism. Since she loves to sing, she mentions that she may sing a song that is quickly forgotten…but she will sing it anyway.

The song really encourages hope and that’s what it’s all about. She mentions God and how wonderful He is, but that sometimes life just isn’t good…and even with prayer it doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to.

Several things come to mind here.

One is another country song about the singer who introduces his wife to his former high school sweetheart. Seeing his love from years ago brought back memories of the good times they had…and he told about promising God everything if he would just make her his. He said how glad he was that God had not answered that prayer…because he had the best woman in the world for a wife now.

I thought of this little laminated refrigerator sign I see when I open the frig each time. It says many things but the one that stands out is that “God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain…but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

I shared a copy of that recently with a friend who had major cancer surgery. The prospects for her are not encouraging.

Sometimes the best you can do is share a little hope.

The card says it all.

Another thing that came to mind when I think of Martina’s “Anyway” is the optimism projected throughout the song.

There was an article in a recent AARP magazine that shared a little “Pep-o-Meter” quiz. It tested you on whether you had an optimistic outlook of life based on career goals, whether you smoke or not, what your mother’s personality is, what you would do if your house were broken in to, and what kind of personality your best friend has. It was a cute little survey, but it said a great deal about whether you have a positive outlook on life and what effect negativism can have on you.

Let’s face it, things can get you down.

One can not be “up” all the time, but one can certainly go through life a little more optimistic rather than be a negative, paranoid, unhappy individual.

An acquaintance told me several weekends ago that her husband’s best friend dropped dead of a heart attack at 52 years old. She said that event has made her husband so much more considerate and tolerant of her. She said they are both now more determined than ever to live life to the fullest. Through his friend’s death, it has brought them even closer together.

It’s not about what happens to us, but how we react to what happens.

Don’t know how you feel about taking risks to live life to the fullest. As I’ve gotten older, I decided I’m gonna do things anyway if I want to…and regardless of what others suggest.

After all, that’s what living life is all about…taking risks and making the best of life.

My wish for you today is that you live life to the fullest and make sure you do what you want and need to do with those you care about. Sure, life may change and things may happen that you don’t want to occur, but at least you did what you wanted to. Life’s just too short not to “sing, love, and dream – anyway.”

~ Joellen

Not one of us will go through the day today without hearing the words “Anna Nicole Smith.” She’s been in the news so much recently that she has almost become a household word.

No matter what you thought of her and her life, you could figure out she was a beautiful, articulate and intelligent woman with feelings and emotions like the rest of us.

Indeed, like many of us, she had tragedy in her life. I suspect that, as hard as she tried to manage it, the stresses of her life were enough to send most of us over the edge.

I’m wondering what Anna Nicole would want to be remembered for?

Among other things, I suspect she would want to be remembered as a mother who loved and cared for her children deeply.

This situation begs the question, what would you want to be remembered for?

Most of us will never be famous. Our name will never come close to being a household word. But, we all want to be remembered for something. We all want someone to remember us fondly and be able to say good things about us when we’re gone.

From the death of this beautiful woman, it should cause us to pause and reflect on this thought.

My wish for you today is that you stop to consider how fragile life can be and how important it is that, if you want someone to remember you after you’re gone, you live everyday to the fullest and do as much good in this world as possible. Yes, that’s my wish for all of us.

~Joellen

Ever put some of your favorite memories, letters, pictures, etc. in a box and put it away for safekeeping? Maybe included in that box were some things that were very personal to you, something you didn’t want anyone to see, but you didn’t quite want to dispose of them.

For instance, what about those high school or college pictures that “told all” about you during those young, impressionable years. Maybe it was a romance you never told a spouse about because you just didn’t want your spouse to know you dated his or her good friend before him. Or maybe you didn’t feel you wanted your spouse or children to know you got 15 speeding tickets when you were a teenager and young adult, even though you kept ever copy of those tickets.

Maybe there were some love letters from a former beau that you just couldn’t bear to throw away….even though it’s been years since you saw that person.

It could even be that you have a diary with your deepest fears, secrets and blunders somewhere but you wouldn’t want anyone to see them now.

Here’s a good reason why a little housekeeping to take care of things that happened years ago would be wise.

Walter Clay sings a song – “Fore She was Mama” – in which he describes a ten year old snooping through his Mom’s things. He finds a box with yearbooks, letters, black and whites, etc. Next thing he knew he and his brother were sorting through the many items on the floor and finding out about their Mama – smoking marijuana in a string bikini in Tijuana, etc.

They never tell their father what they found but they hold that over their mother’s head as they grew up…their apron wearing, mini-van driving, and church going Mama.

Shame on those children for going into their mother’s things.

Shame on their mother for leaving things to be so easily discovered by the children.

She was so mad at them. She burned the box of forget-me-nots when she found out they knew – but not before she was humiliated.

I don’t know about you, but what you did when you were growing up might just be something you don’t want being dug up by your children or spouse.

After all, none of us were angels all the time when we were younger. Part of discovering who we are in those early days is to learn what’s good and not good for us in our life and make adjustments accordingly.

My question is, do you have anything, anywhere, you would not want your children to see if you died and they were sorting through your belongings?

If you don’t then good for you.

If you do, you may want to consider doing a little house cleaning before too long…especially if you have a few items that would be uncomfortable for your children or spouse to find after you’re gone.

My wish for you today is that you are mindful of what you leave behind for others to clean up after your death. There will likely be many memories you want to make sure you share, but you certainly don’t want to leave anything that could be an embarrassment to you and them as they are grieving the loss of someone they came to love deeply.

~ Joellen

I heard a new country song sung by Garth Brooks on the way home yesterday. The name of it, “Somewhere Other Than the Night,” made me listen pretty closely due to the first lines I heard.

The whole jist of the song is this…that you need to show you love and care for someone other than just at night…and that you should be creative about the way you do that.

I like that thought.

I mean, after all, most of the time at night is spent sleeping…at least that’s the way it is for me. If you counted on someone to show they loved you only at night, you’d probably be deficient in that area.

I like the thought that Garth suggests a man needs to make sure a woman feels loved, cared for and held very often.

I submit to you that men need the same thing whether they are willing to admit it or not.

I once heard that you need to be hugged at least 12 times a day for optimal mental health.

So how often are you hugged each day?

How often are you told you are loved and cared for?

I would venture to say not many of us are regular recipients of this kind of care each day and I suspect that children don’t get near enough of that either.

I also suspect that the world would be a less violent place if we practiced more of this each day.

My wish for you today is simple. I encourage you to say “I love you,” show you care about the special people in your life and hug or touch (in a respectful way) more often than you do now. You don’t need to spend a cent to do this…in fact, try doing this without spending any money. Even if you can’t see yourself hugging your spouse or significant other that much, at least share a gentle touch a bit more than you do now. If you’re out of town, don’t let that stop you. Call and say you are giving that person lots of hugs over the phone until you can be there in person to do it. See if this makes a difference in your relationship. I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised!

~ Joellen

Last night I was with a group of cowboys and had a chance to talk with one of them who stood out. This particular cowboy had a beautiful white beard and he reminded me of Santa.

Indeed, as we talked further, I found that it really was Santa.

In fact, I have a signed card to prove it!

I suspect that most of us don’t stop to think about what Santa does on the off season. Many of us probably think he sleeps the entire time between one Christmas and another because of the talks with so many children during December and the exhausting deliveries on Christmas Eve. Oh, there may be a little pre planning with the elves, but it wouldn’t take all year – many might say.

Well I am happy to tell you that Santa is alive and well on the off season and that he has hobbies…just like the rest of us.

It seems one of Santa’s hobbies is being a cowboy…complete with guns.

I saw him shoot cowboy pistols, a shotgun and a rifle yesterday afternoon.

He’s very good.

While safety is always first, Santa was in a cowboy match to see who could shoot the fastest and most accurately. He was having a great time with all the other cowboys and cowgirls. He even had cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. On top of his hat was a real rattlesnake skin with 10 rattles. He had added it to the hat several months ago.

Santa was so pleasant to talk with at dinner. He had many stories to tell and has actually written a book called The Real Deal. It just came out this past December. It was his first book and since we had writing in common (my book – Sardines, Cheese and Soda Crackers: Reflections from a Country Girl – just came out in October), we enjoyed talking about what it was like to publish a book and be first time authors.

I liked Santa. He was a cool guy. He acted just like a normal person. He was enjoying life just like the rest of us do.

Santa will be back to play cowboy again real soon.

I’m just glad to know he does some fun things in-between all the busy times at Christmas.

My wish for you today is that you enjoy the people you come across in life and take the time to listen to their story. You may just have some remarkable conversations if you take the time to discover who people really are!

~ Joellen