Before she was Mama
Ever put some of your favorite memories, letters, pictures, etc. in a box and put it away for safekeeping? Maybe included in that box were some things that were very personal to you, something you didn’t want anyone to see, but you didn’t quite want to dispose of them.
For instance, what about those high school or college pictures that “told all” about you during those young, impressionable years. Maybe it was a romance you never told a spouse about because you just didn’t want your spouse to know you dated his or her good friend before him. Or maybe you didn’t feel you wanted your spouse or children to know you got 15 speeding tickets when you were a teenager and young adult, even though you kept ever copy of those tickets.
Maybe there were some love letters from a former beau that you just couldn’t bear to throw away….even though it’s been years since you saw that person.
It could even be that you have a diary with your deepest fears, secrets and blunders somewhere but you wouldn’t want anyone to see them now.
Here’s a good reason why a little housekeeping to take care of things that happened years ago would be wise.
Walter Clay sings a song – “Fore She was Mama” – in which he describes a ten year old snooping through his Mom’s things. He finds a box with yearbooks, letters, black and whites, etc. Next thing he knew he and his brother were sorting through the many items on the floor and finding out about their Mama – smoking marijuana in a string bikini in Tijuana, etc.
They never tell their father what they found but they hold that over their mother’s head as they grew up…their apron wearing, mini-van driving, and church going Mama.
Shame on those children for going into their mother’s things.
Shame on their mother for leaving things to be so easily discovered by the children.
She was so mad at them. She burned the box of forget-me-nots when she found out they knew – but not before she was humiliated.
I don’t know about you, but what you did when you were growing up might just be something you don’t want being dug up by your children or spouse.
After all, none of us were angels all the time when we were younger. Part of discovering who we are in those early days is to learn what’s good and not good for us in our life and make adjustments accordingly.
My question is, do you have anything, anywhere, you would not want your children to see if you died and they were sorting through your belongings?
If you don’t then good for you.
If you do, you may want to consider doing a little house cleaning before too long…especially if you have a few items that would be uncomfortable for your children or spouse to find after you’re gone.
My wish for you today is that you are mindful of what you leave behind for others to clean up after your death. There will likely be many memories you want to make sure you share, but you certainly don’t want to leave anything that could be an embarrassment to you and them as they are grieving the loss of someone they came to love deeply.
~ Joellen