Reflections From a Country Girl

Do you watch reality television programming? Have you wondered if only certain kinds of personalities try out for these programs?

Would you do it?

I admit I’m hooked on American Idol. Yes, it’s big business at its best and one of the most interesting marketing schemes I think I’ve seen in awhile. I know much of it is hype, but, I also sit there with many, many other viewers and watch someone come out of obscurity to rise into a life changing career and I see LOTS of growth between the beginning and the end of the shows.

In looking at reality television in general, I am guessing it takes someone with passion to want to even audition for one of these shows. It may be that you have to be on the border of “crazy” to apply…or at least willing for the world to know who you are if you win OR lose.

So what ever happened to getting where you want to go by hard work and dedication?

Is it just too hard for the average person to work toward these days instead of trying to get on reality television to achieve their dream?

I prefer to think of these shows and the auditions they offer as yet one more opportunity in life’s journey. The likelihood of someone actually getting on a show like that is not high. There are thousands of audition singers good enough to make some sort of living at singing. Many probably get pretty disappointed when they don’t get in the finals. Reality is though; they probably aren’t going to stop following their dream.

It’s just another day on the road to where they are going next. In some cases they walk through the door, in others they get the door slammed in their face.

Life is really like that for all of us.

With reality television, the difference is many people get to see whether you get there or not.

My wish for you today is that you embrace the opportunities to achieve your dream wherever you can just as long as it’s safe – and always remembering that you will have to work hard no matter what door you choose. You just never know where an opportunity may lead you…reality TV or not.

~ Joellen

I never considered myself a couch potato but last night, I realized I was exhibiting symptoms of it. After all, I watched the television, except for commercials, from six until well after 11.

During that time, however, I also cooked dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, washed, sorted and hung three loads of clothes, washed and put up a load of dishes, checked and responded to e-mails, took a few phone calls and got some things together for the weekend.

I don’t do this every night, but I admit I’m hooked on Thursday television AND I had a good bit to do before the weekend.

I try to justify that the shows from seven to eight pm are educational. Wheel of Fortune encourages you to solve word puzzles quickly. Jeopardy asks some great questions and I like that challenge…keeps the ole’ brain sharp.

These last few weeks Jeopardy has been on location in Charleston. I admit I watched just to see if there were folks on the show I knew since I used to live there and I visit the area at least two times a month. Everyday this week, when I could, I was there watching faithfully at 7. Their Neilson ratings appreciate people like me, I’m sure.

After that, the other shows I watched are purely entertainment…Ugly Betty, Gray’s Anatomy and Men in Trees.

They all have pretty good plots. I actually found myself shocked at the ending of Gray’s Anatomy twice in a row now…saying something like “Oh, my God.” at the end of both this one and last week’s as well.

Television shows do not usually get that kind of response out of me. That’s when I knew I was hooked.

I did put the dishes up a little quicker as the plot thickened. Doing the laundry is actually easier to do when you watch television. There’s just not quite enough room to spread a dryer full of clothes in my laundry area. The couch is a perfect place for that…and then the television and fireplace also call my name.

Come to think of it, how can a woman be a couch potato when she can multi task like this?

I’m not in such bad shape after all! 🙂

My wish for you today is that you are able to multi task household chores and have fun at the same time. After all, being able to do that accomplishes at least two things at one time. Life is just too short, sometimes, to do one thing at a time!

~ Joellen

Ever get one of those viruses that renders you totally useless and makes you wish you were dead?

I was out of town and got one of those pesky little critters this weekend. I’ve been down ever since.

My friend passed it on to me.

Now that wasn’t nice.

The schools there were full of it and, after having a full blown round of it suddenly appear that evening at the home I was staying in and after – I might say – I was already well established and “infected” myself, I simply helped take care of the sick as best I could.

I am generally a compassionate caretaker, so it was good I was there and was able to comfort the suffering.

Now when I get sick like this it’s different for me.

I just want to be left alone.

I think there was so much guilt floating around that I had been the recipient of such an unpleasant gift that I was dotted over. It wasn’t necessary, but I did eventually appreciate the thoughtfulness.

So what kind of patient are you when you’re sick?

I have nurse friends who say they’ve seen the best and the worse of patients. I suspect that it takes a broad sense of patience to actually manage sick people. After all, our personalities can often change or intensify when we’re sick.

Many thanks to all of you out there that are caretakers of the sick and ailing – whatever the reason.

There’s a special place in heaven for you.

My wish for you today is that you avoid the viruses of life and stay well. I encourage you to be a compassionate and understanding caretaker when others are sick like this…realizing that each person may need a little something different when they are in the midst of this kind of situation. Stay well.

~ Joellen

In July 1967 the Beatles released the Yellow Submarine album with a song “Love is all you Need.”

Most everyone loved the Beatles songs. This one was no exception. Looking back over the words, the song really didn’t make much sense, but the tune was catchy and it took the country by rage.

On this Valentine’s Day – some 40 years later – it might be good to reflect just a moment on whether love really is all you need when you’re in a relationship.

I’m wondering if, back in 1967, just loving someone was all one really needed?

If you think about it, there weren’t as many divorces back then. Maybe love was just not as complicated as it is today. Maybe there was much less to take your thoughts away from your sweetheart. After all, how many of us had computers in front of us most of our day? How many of us were able to figures things out in our head without the use of technological contraptions like calculators? The list could go on.

In 1967 I was 16 years old. I THOUGHT I knew what love was back then. Looking back on it now, I realize I didn’t have a clue.

In fact, there are some things today I still don’t quite understand about love, especially when it comes to men. Regardless, I love them anyway.

I suspect that women are often as confusing to men as they are to us.

So is love really all you need?

It’s a good start, but there is SO much more than that.

The physical attraction is important. Then there is the in-depth attraction to one’s very soul or being.

For me, that’s a must.

I just have to know that deep down, the man in my life loves me for not just what I look like but who I am as a person. I want to know that he loves me for who I am in the dark when no one is around.

If that’s too much for a man to appreciate about me, then I’m out of luck.

Yes, there are many, many more things to think about than love. For me, I could just about talk myself out of any relationship I am in if I think about it too much.

That’s scary.

However, during this Valentine’s Day, I am going to appreciate the kindnesses and care shown to me by the men in my life. I will be grateful to each of those and savor them to the fullest.

After all, being on the receiving end of thoughtfulness is always nice…and I am always thankful for that regardless of who it’s from.

My wish for you today is that you are on the receiving end of kindnesses today on Valentine’s Day. Then, if you really want to feel good, also make sure you are on the giving end of this day as well. Even if there are no romantic love interests in your life, make sure you remember to share Valentine’s Day good wishes with those women and men who are important to you. After all, they want to feel loved, too. Enjoy.

~ Joellen

In our fast paced society today, I suspect many of us find ourselves stretched thin in both our work and our personal time. Indeed, even the best of us can have way too many things to do. We may find ourselves thinking we just can’t breathe sometimes and feel that we desperately need a break.

Now, let me tell you, I am an expert in the field of “over commitment.” All my life I’ve tried to prove my worth to the world. The place I found it the easiest to do that was at church.

You see, I grew up believing that the more you gave financially, the more you did, the more you prayed and read the Bible, the better your chances of getting into heaven. As a young and impressionable girl, I really soaked that up…and I pretty much lived that from then on because I sure didn’t want to go to hell!

Oh, there were times when I wasn’t as involved in church. College was the time I remember the most not being involved. I had little money and little time. I went to a service on Sunday morning and that was it. I still heard that there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t as involved and I vowed to make sure I took care of that as soon as I had money and graduated.

When I was 26 I married a minister.

Mind you, I loved him deeply and was with him for the rest of his life until he died some 13 years later of leukemia. We had two wonderful boys together. One of those sons died when he was 20 months old.

I continued to be involved at church whenever the doors were open and doing as much as I could as a single parent. I even got my son involved as I wanted to make sure he knew that religion and developing a keen sense of who you were spiritually was an important part of life.

There came a time when he decided he didn’t like all the “hoopla” associated with the church we went to, so he chose to start attending a denomination that was much less “showy” and more introspective.

He was concerned that I would not like that choice. I told him that for a young man of 21 years old to make a responsible decision about his faith was amazing and I supported that change.

So are you overcommitted in various parts of your life to the point that you are off balance? Does religion or work take so much of your time that you are selling yourself short in other areas like family or personal wellbeing?

I found over these 55 years that one of the best things you can do for yourself is to keep that in check on a regular basis. Both work and commitments to religious organizations or volunteer opportunities can be exhausting and take away from your family. It can also impact your personal well-being.

There came a point for me that I said “enough” and I backed totally out of my church “work.” In fact, when volunteering becomes work it’s too much as far as I’m concerned. It’s hard to worship when you are so involved in a church that you feel like staff.

I not only hold myself responsible for that, but I think ministerial staff should be very aware when someone is over committed and do their best to spread the work around among all the people. If more ministers encourage and preach balance in their congregation members’ lives, the world would be a healthier place.

You see, I have come to be a firm believer that if every adult in a church would make a commitment to take on one task at a time, be it a small portion of leadership, teaching, singing, leading a group, taking care of children in the nursery, etc. all the areas would be covered and no one person would be too overwhelmed. The sad thing about this is that, so often, there are just too few who are willing to volunteer even for one task and so they are burned out because of volunteering too much.

Many of us realize that it’s very hard for ministerial leaders not to ask those who have multiple gifts and talents to share their skills by volunteering. It is quite often easier to ask that way instead of both nurturing and seeking out new commitments from non involved parishioners.

I had the pleasure of being with a group of women in a “circle” the other day. They were all so full of energy.

The more I listened, the more tired I got.

I now remember why I didn’t join “circles” at the churches I’ve been involved with in the past.

If they weren’t signing up for one thing, they were signing up for another. I swear I think that group single handedly runs the church from listening to all the things they were doing. It sounded like the only thing they didn’t do was preach…and I believe some of them could have taken that on and done it well!

My wish for you today is that you carefully evaluate your involvement in extra curricular activities on a regular basis and make sure you have a good balance in your life. You can’t work your way into heaven by doing too much of anything, but you sure can get there sooner than you want if your life is too busy and you burn yourself out.

~ Joellen