Reflections From a Country Girl

Have you ever waited in a car line to pick up children, get gas, wait on an ATM machine, or sit at a drive through restaurant waiting for the cars in front of you to get their food? Perhaps you’re one of those who got stuck on the interstate and just had to make the best of a roadblock or wreck up ahead.

I suppose most of us have at one time or the other been in a line while in our car. It can be frustrating if it wasn’t expected. There are those, however, who make the best of the situation.

I see people doing different things during these times. Some read the newspaper or a book, others put on makeup or check out their hair, then there are still others who talk on the cellphone or get out of the car and talk to those behind them or in front of them in the line.

Picture this.

Its two minutes before elementary school release in Liberty, a small rural South Carolina town. There were many parents gathered, as usual, waiting in the car line.

The weather was quite balmy for January 8th. In fact, it was 70 degrees and getting ready to rain. The wind increased all of a sudden and there came an unexpected gust that literally takes six cars and “stacked” them on top of each other.

13 are injured, 3 are hospitalized.

No one died, but everyone was shaken. After all, it’s not supposed to be 70 degrees in January and it’s certainly not supposed to be warm enough for a tornado.

I suspect that car line will never be the same after this. What was suppose to be just another day turned out to be – as Elvis would say -a shakin’, rattlin’, and rollin’ day.

Guess you just never know what will happen when you walk out the door.

Now there are those of us who will be a bit more cautious as we go somewhere from now on. There are many things that can happen as we go about our mundane duties. If we wanted to, we could be scared to walk out the door. I expect that, if we lived our life fearful of what might happen “out there,” we could literally stay inside all the time.

That wouldn’t be much of a life…now would it?

I surely am glad the school bell had not rung when the tornado came. It could have been much worse.

My wish for you today is that you are aware of your surroundings whenever you are out there and do the best you can to survive. Just being more aware of situations can help prevent unfortunate circumstances from occurring.

~ Joellen

There’s a country song by Doug Stone called “In a Different Light.” He sings about a woman in his office that sits three desks down from him. He sees her walking in every morning in a business suit and working very professionally during the day. The others don’t seem to notice her but he has an insight they don’t. He knows her personally and that makes a big difference in his eyes. He sees her in a different light than the rest of the office.

This begs the question…do you really know the people you work with?

In the professional environment many of us find ourselves in today, we’ve often been cautioned not to get close to those we work with. It gets complicated, some say, and it can be a problem professionally – particularly if you are a supervisor.

I understand where people come from with that philosophy. I have supervised a number of staff over my last nine years of work. When you’re one of the crowd, it’s pretty easy to socialize without any problems. When you’re a supervisor, it’s a bit more of a challenge – at least for me it has been in several cases. I mean, it’s hard to talk about life outside the office and then do an evaluation on someone who has some areas that need improvement. Sometime they can take offense. It can be done, but it’s a bit more of a challenge and calls for some pretty remarkable skills and balance in relationships. I have a boss who knows just how to manage that fine line, though, and does a great job. He’s a true leader and people want to work hard for him because of that skill.

I suspect that, if we knew who folks we work with really are, where they are coming from philosophically, what their dreams are and what the challenges are in their life, we might just understand and appreciate them a little more. It’s just a guess, but I suspect a good one at that. Some will let you in, others won’t. But at least a try at being a bit friendlier might be helpful.

There are many programs and trainings geared toward better understanding who we are as people personally…not just who we are as professionals. I’ve been a part of many of those “workshops” these past 20 years. Having been a school counselor for most of my career, it was something we taught students to do … to understand and appreciate differences…and how to work with others in a group when you don’t necessarily like everyone.

Those are pretty basic skills we all need in this world today.

If we really took the time to see someone in a “different light” we probably would be more appreciative of who they are and why they act the way they do.

Now that doesn’t mean we should accept disrespect, a lack of integrity or dishonesty in the workplace, but at least we would understand differences.

My wish for you today is that you take an opportunity – when the time is right – to be more aware of the people around you in your workplace. Take the time to speak and share words of encouragement. You may just find you will see someone you work with “in a different light.”

~Joellen

I play the piano. I learned as a young girl by listening to the radio and picking out the songs on an old upright piano. That piano was in my parent’s bedroom for the longest time. When we moved, it was on the side porch of our rental home.

I learned enough about how to read music to pick out the songs and got better and better at it as time went on. Since I loved going to church and singing there, I first learned how to sight read from a hymnal. Then I took lessons for awhile for organ and learned how to add pedals to the music. To this day I can play and still don’t even know what notes I’m playing. I figured long ago it wasn’t important to know what the notes were; just hearing the sweet sound was enough for me.

Though I can still read music today, I am best at listening to music and picking it out on the full size electronic piano keyboard at my home – just like in the old days.

It just comes natural to me.

George Strait sings a song “It Just Comes Natural.” He talks a great deal about love in this song, but also mentions some simple things that just make the world turn and life move along.

It reminds me of the thought that we all have something to give to this world that comes natural to us.

How about you? What comes natural to you? What are you good at? What’s your gift?

Since I’m older now and, hopefully wiser, I recognize many talents and gifts others have developed over time. People are always discovering and rediscovering talents if they allow themselves to.

It’s like when children are very young and they all think they are good at drawing, good at playing ball, good at playing the piano, good at speaking. They are convinced by themselves and others that they are good at the things they do. It’s a shame that somewhere between there and adulthood, we “discover” that we aren’t as good as someone else and, bam, we all of a sudden believe we can’t do something well enough to keep doing it.

I do find today, though, I discover new talents if I allow myself to. I get bored quickly, so learning new talents is fun for me.

I realized several years ago that I had a knack for designing and making jewelry. I gathered all sorts of beads and made many interesting and unique necklaces, bracelets and earrings. After giving them for Christmas presents, someone asked if I could teach them to make jewelry. That turned into many fun sessions where I taught folks to make their own. One of the families has a three year tradition now of coming over after Thanksgiving and designing their own presents.

I usually ask new acquaintances what they enjoy doing and find that many people talk easily about their talents. There are those, on occasion, that say they really don’t do much of anything…that they are not really talented at anything.

That is sad to me.

After all, everyone is capable of learning and doing new things. It’s by choice that most of us don’t try. It’s also by choice that we think we are no good at things when we could be if we chose to learn from mistakes.

For those of you who think there is nothing that “just comes natural” to you, consider these thoughts:

1. Everyone can be passionate about something. I know someone who has a remarkable knowledge of cowboy history and guns of that period. He is passionate about that era and it shows up as a gleam in his eyes each time he talks about it. I think it would be wonderful if, when he retired, he would go around the country talking to young people about the cowboy era and sharing that knowledge. He even dresses the part and seems to feel more comfortable in cowboy clothes than modern day clothing.

2. A gift of listening can be a gift well shared with others. I have had the good fortune in my life to know many good listeners. I have developed that skill, but there are those I know who have a natural gift of listening to others with a wisdom well beyond mine. As I consider those people in my life who are good listeners, I consider myself lucky that my mother is one of those people. What a gift a mother with an understanding ear can give to a child or adult. It is those people in our lives where it “just comes natural” that can mean so much as we mature.

3. Doing what comes natural can cause others to become as passionate about things as you are. It’s the sparkle in your eye about something you love to do that catches other people’s attention. Often, it will encourage others to model the same behavior or passion you have. I think of the second grade class I visit with every two weeks. The teacher has an infection love of learning and the children have caught that from her. It shows in her work and theirs. What a gift, to bestow that kind of love learning to the young minds in her class.

4. Encourage young people to become passionate about healthy pastimes. It is often at the early ages of life that one begins to develop a passion for things. What a gift to be an encourager for young people to find their passion in life at an early age and expand that knowledge as they grow into adulthood. It can even develop into a career path if what comes natural turns into a job possibility. While all of us can’t be pro football players or ballerinas, we can develop transferable skills from our passion that can easily turn into workplace successes.

5. Cultivating a hobby you learned as a youth can sometimes turn into a career as you grow into adulthood. My son, Pierce, had a camera in his hand since he was four. He became so good at visual perception and filming over the years that he decided he wanted to do that for a living. He is very good at what he does and has a natural skill many do not have. He said he’d live in a box to do this kind of work. Now that’s passion. it’s such a natural part of his life that he is quite satisfied with the rigorous and grueling hours it takes to be good at film making.

My wish for you today is that you find something you enjoy and turn it into something that “just comes natural.” It will be those things that carry you through times when you need that little extra inspiration to get you going. Yes, doing what comes natural is fun and it might just inspire others to make a different in the world as well.

~ Joellen

Ever felt alone…isolated…unsure of your future…much less sure of the present?

We’re pretty fortunate, we Americans. We have just about everything we want – at least what we think we want. We may not have THE exact car or home we dream of…but at least we have the ability and freedom to reach out to work hard for those things and get them if that is where we want to be.

Even the impoverished in out country have ways of pulling themselves out of the situations they are in if they want to bad enough…not that they may not need some help and support to do that on occasion. In our country, we are able to find resources for most situations.

As fortunate as we are to be here in this country, reaping benefits of a good education and an environment that provides some semblance of “security,” many people still feel lonely hopeless and isolated.

I am guessing that the statement “money can’t buy you happiness” might be the best way to describe that place in one’s life – rich or not – where you can be when you feel that way.

So what if you find yourself, at the beginning of this 2007, feeling alone and no one has come to answer that void.

Here are a few thoughts if you find yourself in this place, now or later.

1. You are not truly alone unless you choose to be. For example, the Barlow Girls sing a song called “Never Alone.” The song reaches into your soul and attempts to make you feel what it’s like to be alone. For many of us we do not truly know that feeling…but we likely will before we leave this earth.

It describes a person who waited, desperately so, for someone or something to show up in their life to help and that person didn’t arrive even though the singer suggested they would. In the chorus, the person cries out but still can’t feel that spirit by their side. However, the difference in this despair and others is that is that the singer says that “I’ll hold tight to what I know – that you’re here and I’m never alone.”

For many this may draw your spiritualism journey nearer. If you haven’t experienced that in your life, you are missing something that can boost you beyond any form of money or worldly goods. You may want to consider that in your life as you begin this new year and explore those opportunities at a local church or faith based community. You can often fill that void if you take the time to explore the possibilities.

2. Listen. Listen to the radio, soothing music, voices in a mall. Using your sense of hearing can often help boost you when you are down.

3. Read. Whether it be poetry, scriptures, or inspirational stories. Just read. Go to a bookstore, get a soothing cup of coffee, and take your time finding something to read. You can do the very same thing at the library…except without the coffee. It’s a great way to relax, be around others, and find some inspiration at the same time.

4. Write. Keep a journal of your thoughts. Sometimes seeing feelings and thoughts on paper can help you separate yourself from the situation and take a better look.

5. Walk. Something as simple as walking can help you get to a better place in your life. Make sure you walk in a safe place. Even better, find a friend to walk with, but don’t use that as an excuse if you can’t find anyone to walk with you. A 15 minute walk in the morning and afternoon can boost your spirits and make you a bit healthier at the same time.

6. Reach out to others. I consider this one of the most – if not the most – important. Often, helping others can cure the loneliness inside. You may be able to use your time and talents to support others while you support yourself. There are many other choices worse than this. Who knows, when having conversations with those you volunteer with, you may be able to help them through their hard times because you really know what it’s like to feel that way yourself. Caring for others and the world around you is critical if you are to grow.

My wish for you today is that you reach out to tackle that void that will be with most of us at some time in our lives. Find a healthy way to do that, and you’ll not only reap the benefit but will make the world a better place at the same time.

~Joellen

New Year’s Day is finally here.

2006 is behind us.

Christmas, other holiday celebrations and New Year’s Eve parties are all done but the cleaning up and the mild headache associated with a bit of imbibing.

Then there is the date change. If you’re like me, it will take a few checks to make the mistake of writing 2006 before we get in the habit of writing 2007. After all, we’ve been doing it now for 356 days.

Visiting family and friends are on their way home. Your house can get back to normal.

Then there was the rush to get last minute donations in order to get a good tax benefit from them. It’s all said and done now. No chance to change it.

In addition to all this, and for all the hours it took to get Christmas decorations up, many of our friends and family already have the lights down, the decorations put away, and a house back to some semblance of normal.

Yes, the party is over.

Or is it?

There are some things to think about as we begin 2007. Consider these.

1. We’ve had a renewed sense of hope and a significant reminder that spirituality can be and is important to us and others around us.

2. For those of us who want to effect changes in our own life, it’s a time of reflections and renewal that we may be able to make some positive adjustments to our lives.

3. We had a chance to deepen connections with family and friends. This may just make our 2007 a happier one as we continue nurturing those relationships.

4. 2007 brings opportunity to offer our skills and financial resources to others who are less fortunate than us. It’s a clean slate of time and talent sharing just waiting for us to embrace the needs of others.

5. This year brings us the opportunity to decide how we can effect change through various political arenas. While all of us may not be passionate about this as others, there are many of us who will make a difference thought actively participating in the political life of our country – even if only at the polls. Yes, 2007 gives us a clean slate to work on making positive changes in local, state, and national political arenas.

6. 2007 also gives us the opportunity to take better care of the world and environment we live it. Becoming more aware of how we use the natural resources we are blessed with is going to be critical for us and our future generation’s survival. Conserving and being kinder to our environment will be important for all of us to consider in 2007.

7. Becoming a better parent or caregiver is even more important in 2007. No one said it would be easy, but taking care of children or ailing parents is a task many of us are facing today. 2007 brings a renewal of that responsibility to those of us in those positions. We must both raise responsible citizens and take care of those who sacrificed much for us. Find resources around you that will enable you to be better at those tasks.

8. One last thought. Taking care of ourselves. Now that is probably one of the most important ones we can consider. Making even subtle changes in our lives will help us all be better for us and the ones in love.

My wish for you today – as we begin 2007 – is that you embrace positive actions in your daily life that will have a profound impact on you, those you love and care for, and those you work for. You may just find that making these efforts will afford you the best year of your life yet.

~Joellen

Tomorrow I spend time on one more very important consideration for 2007. Since, to me, this one is the most important of all of the things we should consider, it will have it’s own “day.”