Reflections From a Country Girl

I have a friend, Barbara, who is passionate about clothes. She’s had rooms full of them for years. She not only has thousands of outfits – complete with all the accessories anyone would need, but she continues to make and acquire more.

Right now, some of you guys may be saying that this is not so unusual for the women in your life. Many of you may know women that have closets full of clothes with shoes and accessories to go with EVERY outfit they have.

Though your women may have loads of clothes, I can assure you Barbara has even more.

You see, Barbara has made and managed the costuming for a local community theatre for years.

Not that Barbara isn’t a clothes tree herself, mind you. She always looks great and has the ability to go from that healthy everyday look to glamorous in a heartbeat.

Every once in a while I go through my closets. I, too, have several of them packed to the gills. I use to have many more. I used the excuse that I acquired them when modeling but that was just an excuse. I too, love clothes. Being a single woman, it’s nice to have all the closets to oneself. It begs to fill them up and I certainly did that for many years.

Over the past six of those years, however, I have begun to downsize. I have come to the realization that any excess is not good. While food has always been a struggle for me, in most of the other areas of my life I have managed to curb the excesses…and clothing has definitely been one of them.

This past month I, once again, scrutinized the closets to find the things I hadn’t worn in the past year, reviewed each piece carefully, and decided whether I needed to keep them or not.

As I looked through the closet this morning I was having a hard time deciding what to wear. I thought how silly that was because there are MANY people who don’t have even two sets of clothing to choose from.

This morning I take a very large bag of good clothing to a ministry that helps families in tough times.

My wish for you today is that you appreciate how much you have. Most of us reading this will have so many items of clothing, coats, shoes, etc. that we could afford to part with some of it…AND still have lots to choose from. If you find yourself in the excess mode when it comes to clothing, why not consider going through it and choosing some good pieces to share with others. Then, make a choice not to fill that space in the closet and see if you can live without it. You might just be surprised how well you can do with less.

~ Joellen

I just love it when it snows in South Carolina. The only thing I like better is when it’s a mixture of snow, ice and rain. It’s that way right now as I look out my window. I can’t wait to get my work clothes on and get out there in it.

There must be something wrong with me, you say.

I think I may have been a race car driver or a dare devil in a previous life.

You see, for me, this weather we’re having this morning is PERFECT to get out in. I love to test my driving skills and this is a perfect way to do it. There is nothing more fun to me than to get in my car in icy or snowy weather, back out of the driveway, and see if I can manage getting to my destination without disaster – using my acquired skills that may be a bit rusty from one “event” to another.

I think I have the same sort of adrenalin flow with snowy and icy weather that tornado chasers have when they hear a twister is coming and they rush out to find it.

Now I don’t want to get in a wreck nor do I want anyone else to get hurt.

It’s just the thrill of the challenge.

I turned on the television throughout the night to check the status of the bad weather they predicted. Sometimes I think they may over exaggerate, but in South Carolina I am not surprised about that. After all, most of us Southerners have little experience at driving in snowy or icy weather and autorities really don’t want us to get out on the road – especially when we don’t know how to drive in it.

When we have this kind of weather on the few occasions we do, I am one of those out in it on the road.

I just can’t help myself.

I have taken a few lessons from experts on how to drive in these kind of conditions. I’ve had some practical experiences as well where I could “test” those skills. I suspect it could be the same feeling a combat trained soldier has. He or she has been taught well; practices, practices,practices …and they are ready and anxious to test out the skills.

Yeah, that’s the feeling.

So, in a few minutes, I head out. We have a two hour delay going to work but I will get to work early today. I want to be out in the worst of it and by ten this morning it is suppose to be clearing up.

My wish for you today is that; if bad weather is in your path, you do all you can to protect yourself and the ones you love. Don’t stress out about it, though. Look at it as a challenge and make the best of it. It could be worse….it could have been a blizzard!

~ Joellen

Are you one of the many who had braces as a child? If so, I’m sure you will remember the braces, the rubber bands, the retainers. You may have worn them at a time when you wanted least to stand out in a crowd and felt pretty noticeable with the shiny silver gleaming through a timid smile.

As years have passed by, braces have become more popular and many people have worn them.

I remember my mother asked me about getting them when I was younger. I did not want braces and did not want to stand out already more than my five foot eleven inch frame did so I didn’t get them. That was a mistake I regretted later when I was in college and in early adulthood. However, at that point in my life it was not fashionable or affordable for me, so I didn’t worry about it.

Seven years ago I was watching television one evening and one of the many commercials ran across the screen. It was an advertisement for braces.

“Hum.” I thought. I think I’ll look into that.

I did and before long I, too, had on the shiny hardware.

I was a school counselor then and the kids just loved that their counselor had braces like they did. We compared war stories about them, if and when we would be wearing rubber bands, how long they would have to stay on, what color bands one is wearing this month, the sensitivity, missing chewing gum and popcorn, etc. If you ever wondered if you could relate to students, wearing braces will make it clear. Students like to see adults wearing braces. I think they want to know we feel their pain…and you do feel pain when wearing them. It was a positive experience most of the time.

I always wore the regular bands – no colors for me. That is, until the day I was convinced to try orange ones on for the month. It was Halloween and Thanksgiving and orange would “match” the season. I thought the kids would get a kick out of that. They did, especially when the Clemson/Carolina game came up and I was wearing orange.

I was a Carolina fan.

That was the last time I wore color bands.

Then there was the time when I had to wear the rubber bands to connect the lower and upper hardware. They would often pop off at the most peculiar times.

Once, while I was having a classroom guidance activity and was running short on time to finish, I was talking faster than usual and one of the rubber bands popped out and landed on the student desk in front of me. That was the talk of the class for quite awhile.

From then on I had to “warn” the students that a rubber band may pop off when I talked during class visits.

I love to sing and was singing in my choir one Sunday when one of the bands popped. Of course, it did not just fall to the floor. It landed in the big hairdo of the lady in front of me and it went deep into the dark brown locks. I tried to get it out without her knowing but she thought I was playing and slapped my hand. So, I left it there. It wasn’t there the next time, but she still had a disgusting look on her face when she saw me for several practices after that.

Yes, braces can make a remarkable difference in one’s appearance and I have always been pleased with how mine turned out.

My wish for you today is that you get braces if you need to and enjoy the experience. If you don’t need them, be mindful of those who are wearing them and stay clear of fast talking, rubber band wearing, brace wearers. You may just be the recipient of a rubber band if you don’t.

~ Joellen

Have you ever made a casserole or other dish that seemed it was missing an ingredient? It might have been bland or just didn’t quite have that savory taste you were looking for when you ate it. You may have thought you wanted to throw that recipe out. Or maybe you went back to the recipe to figure out what was missing so you could improve on it the next time.

I’ve had reason to think recently about missing ingredients in people’s lives. The issue came up with a friend of mine when we were talking about some situations with people we care about.

Both of us have family, friends and business acquaintances that are extremely wealthy.

For many of them there are spacious homes decorated with amazing furnishings and works of art, sports cars, season tickets to sports events in the finest seats, an impressive stock portfolio, boats, designer clothing, second homes in the mountains or at the beach…the list goes on.

We take pleasure in hearing and seeing these people enjoying their good fortune. Many have worked extremely hard and sacrificed much to get to where they are today. We both are in awe of that. When we find ourselves involved with them on occasion, we are honored to be part of their good fortune as well.

On the outside looking in, most of the people look like they have a picture perfect life.

Who wouldn’t want to be in their shoes?

As you look closer, though, there are some of these folks who are missing an ingredient in their lives – just like that recipe I mentioned earlier.

Since all of us likely had this ingredient as children, I prefer to say it is just missing.

What is it, you say?

Joy.

In today’s world, some people are always striving to acquire more things. The more they get, the “happier” they are. For some of them we see they have many “surface” relationships but few – if any – are genuinely deep and loving relationships. Often, they only surround themselves with people who have as much or more than they do. Many times we can see negative and demeaning attitudes coming from these people regularly.

If you look closely, you can see it in their eyes and hear it in their spirit.

If you can get them to talk with you, it is often obvious that your not valuing the same things they do makes them very uncomfortable. Getting “too close” is taboo for them. They may avoid you or will only interact with you through their power base.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many wealthy people who are kind, do good with their time and money, and who make a real difference in their communities as well as the world. We all should be grateful for those who share their wealth with the world to do good. For them, I often will see a joy that’s indescribable.

Are you one of those who has everything but lacks that missing ingredient of joy in your life?

No matter where we are financially, if we lack joy we are missing something.

The good thing about a missing ingredient is that you can always go back and see what was missing last time, correct the recipe and make it better in the future.

Same thing with joy.

If you’re not happy with your life and are missing joy in it, here are some things to consider tapping as resources:

~ volunteer

~ seek out spiritual leaders and find out what they have to say

~ask someone who seems less fortunate than you to tell you their story – appreciate them and their struggles

~ give some of your good fortune away to help others in need

~ do a little survey – ask as many people as you can what gives them joy in their lives – write it down, reflect on their thoughts

~trade places with someone who makes considerably less than you do for a day or so and see what it’s like to do their job

My wish for you today is that you rediscover true joy in life. If you have it, embrace it and use it to do good. If you don’t have it, make a commitment to yourself to seek it out. It may be a missing ingredient in your life right now, but it’s never too late to find out what is missing, make the change, and try it again. You might just find that – with the rediscovery of joy – it will become your favorite ingredient of life!

~ Joellen

Have you ever gone to your local mall, sat down on one of the many benches, and watched people? Do you ever go to the beach just to watch people?

Some of you are smiling right now. You guys might never say you went to just watch people at the beach, but those bikinis are too irresistible for many of you.

If we women would admit it, we, too, might be going for more than just the rays and a bit of relaxation. 🙂

I have a good friend that loves to go to the mall and watch people. He sits there for an hour or so each time. He loves to see people interact with each other, guess what they may be up to when they are hurrying by, and wonder how a home environment may really be when he sees families together.

I actually like to do this as well, but in a little different manner. I like to go to the mall or any other busy place and take a seat, close my eyes, and listen to what is going on.

That may sound crazy to you, but I would suggest you try it. You can actually hear some interesting things doing this. If you listen carefully, you can hear several conversations at once and then focus on the one you really want to concentrate on.

I also like to do this in other places such as the beach, at concerts, and at the lakeside park near my house. I will also often go out on the back deck of my house in the morning or at night and settle in on a chair to listen to the sounds.

As a piano player I recently tried closing my eyes and playing the music by ear. I learned to play by listening to the radio so that may not be so strange. However, I do find that playing the tunes with my eyes closed makes me more aware of what I am playing.

Sounds of life can definitely take you to a different place. Others may think you are a bit strange for having your eyes closed but, in the big scheme of things, it makes little difference what they think. You just need to remember to be as safe as possible while doing this.

In short, I think for me and for others I know, using one’s sense of listening can sometimes make many things clearer in life.

My wish for you today is that you give your sense of listening a bit of a jolt and try some of these when the time is right. You might just find that you, too, will have a clearer sense of life.

~ Joellen