Reflections From a Country Girl

I grew up knowing all too well what coal was. Let’s just say coal and I were “up close and personal.”

You see, we used it for our main heat source in the front of our home. The structure was an old Camp Croft army barracks my mother and father bought after the camp closed near their property in Spartanburg. Dad was in construction so he turned that long rectangular building into a very nice six room home. I lived there all my life through my early years in college.

Since my father ran an ice and fuel company and coal was the “fuel,” I knew coal like the back of my hand. I even had to shovel it a couple of times from the large heap where it was unloaded on the side of the plant.

John Anderson sings this gospel song; I’m Just an Old Chunk of Coal. He continues “but I’m gonna be a diamond some day.” He claims he is a “work in progress” and that he is going to “find a better way to walk” and “find the best way to talk.”

One gets the idea that he may have some things to work on.

Truth be known, we all do.

The difference between some of us is that we just never get beyond the coal stage.

Now we can all clean up pretty good, but coal is still coal. It can be pretty and shiny on the outside if it’s cleaned up, but it still has the potential to leave dark marks on anything it touches.

John prefers to believe, like other optimists, that he can take his “coal” life and work toward perfection. Indeed, he says. “he will grow and glow ’til he becomes a diamond.”

There are those of us today that believe we are diamonds. Perfect, shiny, beautiful. It’s good that we are able to reach a point in our lives that we can say that. We’ve “polished up our rough selves” and work diligently to be a shining star.

Lest we get too sure of ourselves, life keeps us in check, though.

“Stuff” happens, and so he also talks about watching out lest we become vain. He says he keeps himself “kneeling and praying so he won’t get too sure of himself.”

Yep, songs can help you remember that you’re “just an old chunk of coal.”

I prefer to think of songs as helping you keep grounded. After all, it takes a lifetime and beyond for a piece of coal to become a diamond.

My wish for you today is that you take yourself from your simple beginnings to grow into something beautiful to share with the world…just like the sparkle of a piece of coal that turns into a diamond. It will take awhile and lots of patience but it’s worth it. Just keep yourself grounded and remember where you came from and where you’re going.

~ Joellen

I know this man that digs graves.  Yep, that’s his main source of income.

Ever wonder how someone gets into that line of work?  Did he follow in his father’s footsteps?  Did he work for the highway department and decide it was better to dig graves than ditches?

All kidding aside, I can tell you he is one of the nicest people I know.  He manages himself positively and everyone likes him.  This man appears to love his job and makes sure he digs the hole deep enough and gets it taken care of appropriately after it’s been filled.  He takes great pride in his work.

Think about what he deals with.  He sees people at their worse.  Usually they are very distraught and upset.  The last thing most of them want is to see anyone digging a grave where their loved one is going to be buried.

Most of us, I venture to say, would not want to dig graves for a living.  However, many of us are working our way there by the situation we find ourselves in at work.

So do you take pride in your work…whatever it is?  Do you get paid a salary or do you work endlessly taking care of your children or ailing parents without pay?

Whatever your work is, it is very important that you maintain as positive an attitude about it and get as much pleasure from it as you possibly can.  Most of us work, and many of us have horror stories of our past employers.  The key to that sentence is “past.”

If you work for a jerk, then get out and find yourself something else.  Believe me, there are LOTS of bad bosses out there.  Staying with them just supports their bad behavior and you just don’t have to do that.

Now I am not suggesting you quit without another source of income.  I am suggesting that you could be looking on “Monster.com,” perusing the want ads and taking a look on line at other job listings.  Sometimes just looking will make you feel more in control until the day you get that new beginning.

Your goal should be to have a job you enjoy as much as possible and that gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment.  You should also work for someone who deserves a hard worker like you.

One word of caution here.  If you are not a hard worker with a high integrity level, you may want to review your work habits to see if you are part of the problem.  Using the boss as an excuse for a bad work ethic doesn’t work.

My wish for you today is that, whatever you do for a living, you do it with integrity, enjoyment, and a sense of accomplishment.  If you’re a grave digger, a secretary, a CEO, a housewife – be the best one you can be.  It’s all in the attitude.

~ Joellen

Remember the song “Games People Play?” It’s from the 1970’s and I, unfortunately, thought of it today when I opened the mail.

I got a letter from the company that insures my car and house. They explained the local home office had their computers stolen several weeks ago and were letting me know that the crooks might be able to gather all my personal information – including name, social security number, address, bank account number, routing number, driver’s license number and other pertinent facts from the files on those computers.

Not only is this alarming to me for my insurance agency personnel, but I am all of a sudden feeling very vulnerable…and right at the time when I am getting ready to retire.

The letter recommended that I call the credit bureaus and ask them to put a fraud alert on my account immediately. They said I should be very concerned since they could use my bank account and routing number that I use to draft my payments.

I felt the need to call my bank and two hours later I had closed my main bank account and opened another one.

Do you know what you have to do if you have your bills drafted each month and have your payroll check on auto deposit?

It will likely take me hours if not days to notify all of them of my new account and make sure they are able to change all this.

My, my, my…all this because someone stole a computer from an office.

I understand from talking with a number of the folks who tried to help me today that it could be a year or so before they start trying to use my information. When they get into these kinds of systems and try to break the passwords, it may take that long. Sometimes crooks know there are temporary fraud alerts on accounts so they decide to wait it out till folks pass that time and get comfortable with knowing nothing happened…and then they make their move on the accounts.

This makes me mad and I suspect it would you as well.

I get pretty aggressive when I deal with this kind of thing. I make sure I change accounts, notify those who I use for drafting and direct deposit processes, and do all I can to protect my account. While this has only happened once before and it was YEARS ago, it is annoying and very time consuming.

It’s just a shame that we are sometime forced to have to deal with these sorts of issues.

My wish for you today is that you never have to experience this. However, if you do, make darn sure you take it serious and do all you can to protect yourself. You will need to muster up all your inner strength to take care of something like this because of the games these kinds of people play.

~ Joellen

Did you learn to enjoy physical education as a youngster? Where did you learn that? Out in the yard with the kids? At school? From your parents?

Or are you one of those couch potatoes that would rather be inside all the time in the comfort of the air conditioner and nearby the frig?

There’s a crazy country song called If Bubba Can Dance (I can, too) that made me think of how we learned to love physical activity and movement. The song talks about a man who orders a tape in the mail to learn how to do some pretty popular country dance movements. He doesn’t tell anyone he ordered it. He just practices at home and gets pretty good at it.

When he learned well enough how to do it, he takes his new found talent to the local country dancehall and wow’s everyone with his skills – inspiring even the shyest person to get on the floor and try. The song suggests that if he is brave enough to get out there, then others will be as well. He sets a good example without even realizing it.

Where do you get your inspiration to exercise? Has it been instilled in your very being or are you one of the many that just has a hard time being motivated.

I have to admit that I didn’t feel very good at those exercises when I was younger. The most comfortable place for me to exercise was dancing to American Bandstand in front of the television. My parents didn’t instill the love of physical activity regularly with me as a family. They were both such hard working individuals that they were active ALL the time. I learned that characteristic from them and it fared me well as I became an adult.

It’s little wonder that we have many children today that are overweight. It’s not that the physical education teachers don’t try. They have been for years. They encourage. They motivate. They think of exciting ways to instill the joy of physical education in their children.

It’s that we, as parents, are not always encouraging our students to be active. Sometimes, it is easier to just let them watch the television and eat a snack. After all, we want them to be safe and staying with us will keep it that way.

One physical education teacher I know in the low country has a “Cowboy Campout” at his school. The event involves the whole family bringing their tents and camping out overnight…enjoying a number of physical education activities as well as academic ones. I’ve been to this once and am getting ready to go next weekend again. It’s a magnificent event that teaches families the love of physical education including throwing in some fun academic activities like cowboy math, three card count, a cattle drive at dusk (walking around the school while some of the children ride stick horses), animal tracking, cattle branding, lassoing, story telling, panning for gems, and searching for gold. There’s also time for marshmallow roasting and plenty of time for family visits with others around the campfire all night while having storytelling from adults and children…all in good cowboy style fun!

Now that’s the kind of physical education teacher I would have liked to have.

Recently there has been quite a bit of discussion on how the physical education teachers can “prove” their children are learning certain physical education “skills”. The big boys at the State Department of Education and a local college decided they knew how to make sure that was being done. They told the physical education teachers they had to videotape their students mastering those physical education skills.

Now, instead of taking the time to instill the love of physical education to their students, the physical education teachers are spending their time running around with a video camera in their hands taping their students “mastering” the skills they are suppose to be getting in class.

What are they thinking?????

It’s hard enough to master a class of 50 students or more at a time…but to put a video camera in the teacher’s hand at the same time is ridiculous. Not only does that violate confidentiality of student identity but the videos are sent to the State Department so they can be “viewed” by not only staff at the State Department but students from the college level. My question is, exactly who will be looking at these and what will they be doing with them?

Not sure where all this came from, but it does nothing to encourage the love of physical education, and a great deal to undermine it.

Parents, be aware of this. Are you thinking your child is learning the love of physical education only to now hear they will be videotaped by their teacher who will then send a video to the State Department with their name on it to “prove” they learned a skill? I am told our Legislators actually voted to do this…but I am also told that some of the things being implemented as part of this “law” are being loosely interpreted by our educational leaders and passed on to us at the local level to implement.

Many parents, like me, did not learn from their parents that physical activity is essential from their parents when they were growing up. Many of us, unwittingly, instilled that same philosophy to our children.

We do expect, however, that the physical education teachers will give our children some semblance of the love of physical activity. I can’t see videotaping being a part of that.

My wish for you today is that you take the time to question this at your school and, if you feel as strongly about this as I, take the time to contact your legislators and Jim Rex at the State Department of Education. Love of physical education is one thing. Videotaping our children and sending those off to be “evaluated” is quite another. Why not just instill the love of physical education so you can one day see your child out there loving some form of healthy physical activity – just like Bubba and his dancing!

~ Joellen

There’s a country song, Alyssa Lies, that’s pretty popular right now. Jason Michael Carroll sings it.

He sings of a daughter that comes home from school and says her new friend, Alyssa, is lying at school. She says she lies in the classroom and she lies to the teacher. Her father brushed it off at first, but his daughter persisted so he listened. She continued by saying that Alyssa lies about the bruises she has.

Her father tried to comfort her and hears her prayers for him, his wife, and her friend Alyssa as she goes to bed that night.

As one would expect, her father has a restless night and goes in to school the next day to talk with the teacher about what his daughter had told him.

It was too late; Alyssa died overnight…apparently from more beatings.

Well.

What does one say when something like that happens? More importantly, do you know of anyone that may be the recipient of those kinds of exchanges from their parents?

That activity is totally out of control and down right wrong. One can get their point across without beatings…especially that kind. This kind of activity is not about an out of control child but an out of control adult…and one that needs help…fast.

As educators, we learned to be proactive about reporting this kind of suspected child abuse quickly when we hear about it. Yes, you can imagine parents who are accused of this would get pretty upset. If beating was founded, removing children from the home IS the right thing to do to avoid what happened to Alyssa.

As we know, there are lots of children who are scared into saying nothing to anyone at school…except maybe a friend they trust.

Saying you don’t want to get involved or you’re scared you’ll lose a friendship is no excuse for not helping a child in this kind of situation. Saying it’s the parent’s right to discipline their child the way they see fit is no excuse either. This is not about proper discipline…it’s about abuse and anger that is seriously out of control.

A child can not fight that. But you can as an adult that knows beatings like this are NOT right.

My wish for you today is that your child or the children you know and care about never have to see or hear about this from a victim. I encourage you to talk with your children about this and make sure they don’t know about bad things happening to their friends. However, if they do, that they know it’s important to help save their friend from wrongdoing by reporting it to you and letting you get some help for them.

In our society today, one can make a referral anonymously if there is fear of retribution. Calling a social service office can get you to who you need. They may not be perfect, but they will at least help protect the child from harm.

Don’t be like the man on that song and wait until it’s too late. What a shame that would be.

~ Joellen