They’re Here!
There are many quotes from the movies that have stuck with us thought the years. We use them when the time is appropriate.
The movie Poltergeist (1982) had a particularly interesting saying that has stuck with many people. Though the movie is definitely not a “holiday movie†the saying can be appropriate around the holidays.
“They’re Here†can bring a rush of excitement to see much anticipated and loved family members or it can send a cold chill up your spine for the, shall we say, less than easy to get along with relative.
The larger the family gathering, the more of a chance there is at least one relative someone may not happy about having to be around again during the holiday season.
Many of us have a diverse base of friends and relatives on both sides of the political fence AND from very diverse backgrounds. While we all may likely enjoy our friends and family and cherish each of them, sometimes you just know what to do and not to do ahead of time.
But, what if you have no choice to have folks in the room that either don’t like each other or prefer not to be around each other for some reason?
Here are a few helpful hints that might help if you find yourself in a stressful situation during the holidays – or really at any time.
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1. Always have plenty of space for guests to mingle in several rooms. That way, if there are those people that some prefer not to be around, they can manage to ease themselves around without bumping into each other.
2. Make a plan ahead of time for another of your family members to help you deal with potential uprisings if they should occur. It’s always better to be prepared than not – especially if you know about conflicts ahead of time.
3. If you find yourself in a position where you have to be a referee, take each one aside and ask, for the sake of the gathering in your home, if they could possibly help you out by not being argumentative with the other guests. Affirm that you know it’s hard to deal with that person sometimes, but that, for the sake of your gathering and your guests, could the person help you out by overlooking the shortcomings of the other guests/relatives during their time there. Most responsible adults will agree to that and apologize for any problems it may have caused if you use this approach.
4. If it gets intense, ask, in front of others, that you insist on keeping things civil at your home and thank them for their cooperation.
99 % of the time this should take care of things.
As we know, many people come to holiday gatherings that are already stressed, in some way, about the holiday. We all bring our own issues to a gathering and sometimes that may spill over into the event.
If you find you are at a high stress time in your life, you could also consider not going to the event and opt to stay home, relax, and renew? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you need permission for some reason, here it is. You can blame it on me.
My wish for you today is that you are able to gather with family and friends to share in a little food, fun, and fellowship while you relax with others. Keep it light and cherish the unique personalities of each individual. After all, most everyone there is likely looking for a way to relax and enjoy each other’s company, too. Make sure you are part of that enjoyment and you will have some fond memories of the holiday.
~ Joellen