Life Ain’t Always Beautiful or Dealing with Disappointment
Life Ain’t Always Beautiful is a country song that tells it like it is. It says that sometimes, life is just plain hard; it can break you down and break your heart. It’s a song about disappointment and heartbreak.
I’m disappointed with some things that have been going on in the last week.
There’s no other way to say it.
I like to volunteer and I had offered to do so for a rather large statewide event where people I cared about were competing with others. Since I was unable to compete myself, I thought it was a good thing to do.
Knowing I was going to take some time off my fulltime job to do this, I had no idea that I would additionally have the challenge of dealing with the release of my first book at the same time. I was working diligently on the volunteer issue from 7 am until late afternoon, getting back home to check a multitude of e-mails and dealing with issues and people related to my book.
All in all, I was managing this pretty well until things started happening at the event. There were short tempers, less than thoughtful comments, and a general feeling of unhappiness wiht some individuals there. Now this happens at most events and life goes on. Even those are things I can usually manage in moderation.
This time was different. One of those mornings I found myself verbally saying what I was thinking. They were not positive comments and I knew I needed to re-evaluate my situation since I am not prone to saying negative things on a usual basis.
Realizing I was feeling this way and not wanting to harbor that inside for very long – I took the usual “step back and evaluate how I am a part of this and what I need to do to be part of the solution and not part of the problem” – posture. I decided to remove myself from several additional tasks that would extend my day with the volunteering well past 10 pm. I also asked that someone else be responsible for an article that was due afterwards. Although that was not met with smiles, I believe the leaders took care of it and we moved on.
Then there was the evening event where I was the recipient of a rude and inappropriate comment. There were other disappointments surrounding this event that will remain untold.
I wound up leaving and driving back to my home two hours away that evening. I mean, after all, enough is enough. You have to “know when to hold um and know when to fold um, know when to walk away and know when to run” as Kenny Rogers says in another familiar song.
This was a “walk away” event.
Yes, life often can deal you disappointments and you either process those and the heartbreak they bring or you get stuck.
My relationships with some of these people has changed dramatically over the past five days. While some of them were casual relationships, one was a relationship we both had hopes of lasting forever. That will not be the case now.
My disappointments with these situations lead me to spend some time evaluating where I fit into the events.
With this in mind, I’d like to share a few statements that may help you along the way should you find yourself in similar circumstances.
1. Always share your time by volunteering whenever you can. It’s good to offer to help out.
2. Always remember that life circumstances can change rapidly and you may need to adjust commitments as time gets closer.
3. Never feel like you can’t make a different decision if it is in your best interest or the best interest of the situation you are in. The worse thing you can do is to do something just because you’d feel guilty if you didn’t. It’s ok if they don’t understand. You have to do what is right for you.
4. Always uphold those you love through being involved in their hobbies when you have a chance. It’s important to show your support for their passion. Most often, they will appreciate it.
5. When you feel you are being taken advantage of in a situation, seek to take care of that immediately rather than harbor those feelings. That may mean talking it out or choosing to be removed from all or part of a situation.
6. Never accept someone’s rude comments or behavior. You have the right to defend yourself if you are wronged, no matter where you are.
7. Expect your spouse or significant other to support you when you need it. Accepting less than that without dealing with it allows that relationship to weaken and sets you both up for future humiliation.
The song – Life Ain’t Always Beautiful – doesn’t just end with disappointment. There are words of encouragement that say “struggles make you stronger” and “changes make you wise.” If you process life’s disappointments when they occur and learn what you can from them, you will be stronger.
My wish for you today is that you make sure you are giving back to the world in a way that’s right for you, that you are mindful of life events that may necessitate changes in your commitments, and that you acquire the ability to process life’s disappointments rapidly when they occur – learning from them what you can.
~Joellen