She Let Herself Go
She Let Herself Go is the name of a country song about a woman who was a dutiful housewife and worked hard to take good care of her husband and their home.
Somewhere along the way, he decided he didn’t love her anymore, told her one day, and left. The song suggests that he was concerned she would fall apart and not be able to handle it.
So the story goes that “she let herself go.”
Now, that sounds like she fell apart and couldn’t make it on her own.
But, as you quickly discover, she goes to the spa, heads out of town with friends to places he always said were too far, goes on a cruise, has a blind date, etc. She “let herself go” to places and do things she only dreamed of doing before.
“You go girl.” I said out loud as I listened to the song for the first time and smiled.
So what do you do if you find yourself at the end of a relationship? Do you find yourself in a new place – whether divorcing or in a dating relationship that is not working – and you really need to move on?
Is dating in the picture? If so, what does that REALLY mean?
I don’t know your definition of dating is, but mine has evolved into this. Dating is an opportunity to be with someone who is also single – as a couple – in a variety of social situations. It’s an opportunity to test out the compatibility between the two of you to see if you want to continue the relationship or take the connection to a deeper or more permanent level. Dating, to me, is an equal partnership all the way throughout the process.
So where do you find a compatible date?
There are so many single people in this world one can date.
I mention this because, all too often, people get involved with someone who is married. While I have no right to judge and will not do so here, I want to say that if you are dating someone who is married, thing can get complicated fast.
If you don’t know that person is married and find out after the fact, I want to suggest that it is FOOLISH to stay with that person. Honesty is one of the most important qualities in a relationship. If you can’t trust someone to be honest about this matter, they are not worthy of your love and affection. There is simply no excuse for being involved with someone who has a spouse…whether they are “thinking” about divorce or not. Even if they are divorcing, they need time to sort through things…not get involved with someone else before the papers are even signed. It is not a situation any self respecting individual should be involved in, and I certainly hope you think more of yourself than that.
All that said, many believe dating is often a chance meeting between two people and fate plays a large part in it.
Others say God has quite a hand in matchmaking.
I also know many people who go to great lengths to be in situations where they can find someone to connect to. Some activities are healthy, other are extremely unhealthy and even dangerous.
You know what I’m talking about if you find yourself single. It’s a crazy world out there.
Whatever you believe, it is important to remember that dating is just that. Dating. It’s a time that can make one nervous, excited, unsure, joyous, frustrated, and perhaps even angry. It’s a time consuming and often confusing time of life. It can also be a joyous time in life.
If you find you are in a situation where you’re starting the dating scene again, think about what was good and not so good about the last situation you were in and make sure you don’t find yourself in any negative patterns next time. You’d be amazed at the women and men out there who get into the same types of bad relationships over and over again. They just never seem to learn from their mistakes.
If you see negative similarities in the connections you’ve had in the past, you might want to take a close look at those qualities and get someone to sort through them with you first. Taking some time to consider the strengths and weaknesses of your past relationships will help strengthen the next one and possibly save you pain and heartbreak.
If you take that time to review your prior relationships introspectively, consider your options, and take care of yourself personally, you’ll be ready to “let yourself go” when the time is right.
My wish for you today is that you are in a happy and healthy place wherever you are. If you are not, consider talking things out a different way – perhaps with a neutral party – and give it a shot to make things better. If that won’t work, then make sure you give yourself time to process things as a single person before jumping into something new. Once you’re ready, let yourself go, treat yourself with the respect and care you deserve and enjoy it.
~ Joellen