Reflections From a Country Girl

Corporate Angels has found a corporation that is kindly willing to take us from Charlotte to Houston on Monday morning.  One of the over 500 corporate organizations offer to carry medically transportable patients and their caretakers for treatment all over the United States when they have unbooked seats.  We are fortunate enough to be two of those going on one of the flights Monday.  

So, we are on our way.  

We don’t have a flight back yet, but we will have faith that we will be able to get back after my appointments next week.  We may have to stay over the holiday weekend but we will be glad to do that if necessary.  I may or may not start chemo next week.  I may or may not find out whether I have a stem cell transplant or a bone marrow transplant.  I will likely find out if they will be able to use my stem cells or bone marrow or have to find someone else as a donor. 

Lots of unknowns.  Lots of what ifs.  

Totally out of my control.

A friend said this will be one of the most unsure times of my life for me.  Most often I manage to figure out my next step…or so it seems.  This time it is totally left to someone else….even a group of someone elses.  

So, I sit back and let them figure me out from head to toe.  I may even have a psychiatrist do a psychological evaluation on me as part of the process.  That will be interesting.  I’ve never done that before…but then neither have I ever had someone do the other things I suspect they will do to prepare me for a transplant.  

I sat on the side of my bed early this morning.  I just leaned over and felt the presence of someone there.  It was comforting so I kept leaning for a minute before I sat back up.  

There was no one, but then, maybe there was. 

I sense, sometimes, that a spirit of peace is around me.  Sometimes it is when I am stressed.  Sometimes it is when I rise.  Sometime it is when I least expect it.  

I’m not going to try to understand. I am just going to embrace the presence…the peace.  

My wish for you today is that you embrace the presence and peace of your environment or circumstances whenever you feel it. 

~ Joellen

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 16th, 2009 at 12:48:pm and is filed under Health, illness, Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.