Reflections From a Country Girl

Relationships are, at best, a challenge.  It takes a great deal of work to maintain even the most casual ones. 

I have found myself needing to redefine a relationship recently. It’s been a great connection with many fond memories, but one that got a little sidetracked with some “challenging” issues that has created opportunities for growth with both parties. 

To say the least, it is not easy to remold deep and highly emotional relationships.  However, one of the most important things one can do for a relationship is to address issues when they become a problem. 

The first step in redefining a relationship is having a commitment from both parties to make the effort. It can often take some frustrating times to get to this point but it does not have to. If there are lots of tension, however, the people involved may benefit from a mediator, though that is not necessary if the two of you can talk things out calmly.  Setting ground rules of listening, no interruptions while the other is talking, and being respectful of the other’s feelings is critical to making this process work. 

The second critical step is being able to identify strengths and share those, one at at time, without interruptions. This can be quite a positive experience…especially if there have been tensions and hurt feelings shared between you. Giving the other person a chance to do the same thing – in other words – being the listener – can be a highly bonding experience.

Repeating this process with statements like, how am I most challenging to you and really listening to those things can be helpful in your understanding how your actions are interpreted by the other person. 

Third is knowing what you want/need from that relationship and being able to explain that in a calm and caring manner.  It’s very important that both parties be able to agree to have a conversation about these needs and wants in a responsible manner.  When the time is right, this can be a beautiful process…but only when both are ready. 

It’s always good to rediscover what’s important to your soul-mate in your relationship.  This may take awhile…even more than one setting…but it will be well worth the time if you maintain your listening ear and really try to understand what makes the other person tick.  

My wish for you today is that you take the time to redefine your relationship with your spouse or significant other on a regular basis.  These communication lines can provide an amazing experience for bonding and becoming even closer in your relationship.  

~ Joellen

This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 10:56:pm and is filed under Life & Events, Making wise choices, Releationships - general. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.