Don’t Forget to Remember Me
There’s a song Carrie Underwood sings called Don’t Forget to Remember Me. I love listening to it on the radio.
I thought about it the other day.
Have you ever been forgotten on a holiday by someone you care about? Maybe they forgot your birthday or anniversary. Now those are easy to forget if they don’t have a calendar…particularly if they aren’t good at things like cards or gifts.
There aren’t many women like that, but there are LOTS of men who aren’t really gift or card people. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good people, just not that kind of people.
Now mind you, they don’t mind of you share with them on special days…but to remember all the time for birthdays or anniversaries is not easy…especially if they don’t keep a calendar.
As much as I would like to say that’s forgivable, there are holidays when there is SO much advertising that there is simply no way someone could forget. Take Christmas and Valentine’s Day…even Mother’s Day and Easter…all holidays when a little remembering is a good thing and the advertising folks make darn sure you see it plenty of times on the television and in the newspapers.
Most of us women are good at celebrations because that is very important to us. We also expect our men to remember us on those days and to do it with joy.
However, we have to remember that our men don’t always remember those things the same way we do. Sometimes, they just don’t know where to start…much less…keep up with what we like, what kind of perfume we wear, etc. It’s a chore to them.
So how do we deal with a man who forgets or doesn’t value that in his life?
I actually had that happen to me on a significant holiday before.
Now I can tell you that did not set well with me. I LOVE celebrating holidays and it was distressing to me that I wasn’t remembered. Not one card. Not one flower. Not one gift. Nothing.
How did I handle that? After I got over being disgusted with not being remembered by any of the men in my life, I decided it was something I needed to clearly express. Oh, I have “modeled” that plenty of times but I had not really said it was important to me to be on the receiving end. I assumed the men in my life would know that.
Wrong.
You know what assuming does. 🙂
I decided since these men just didn’t get that it was important to me to be remembered on holidays, I would set out to tell each one, individually, that I needed and enjoyed recognition at holidays that I was important to them…and worthy of being remembered with sometime.
I also made sure they knew I wasn’t looking for diamonds, cars, or large gifts (though that would be nice)…just something that showed they cared and wanted me to know that other than the usual ways.
My wish for you today is, if you have men in your life that don’t do what you need to make you feel special on holidays, that you take it on yourself to make sure they know that is important to you. Trying to make them feel guilty doesn’t work. Explaining to them that you want to feel a little romanced or at least remembered on holidays is reasonable. There are some men out there that are naturals at this, most others need to be trained…and I mean gently so. Men, if you are not a card or gift giver my wish for you today is that you put that on your list of things to do, to begin noticing what your woman likes and to make sure you do SOMETHING for her on those holidays. I can guarantee you will see many rewards from this small but consistent effort and your relationship will be a stronger one. Just give it a try.
~ Joellen