You Say it Best, When You Say Nothing at All
Have you ever said something you shouldn’t have? You know, stuck your foot in your mouth or said something you wished you would not have said.
I’ve done that at least several times in my 55 years.
The most famous of my verbal blunders was when I was at the rehearsal party the night before my wedding.
It was at this point that I would have fared well to keep my mouth shut. However, I have never been one to be without words…though sometimes I have been known to speak before I think.
This was one of those occasions.
It was after dinner and toasts when my future husband handed me a gift as he said, “this is your wedding present from me, sweetheart.â€
I opened it to discover a beautiful opal and ruby ring. After we all oohed and ahhed, it was my time to speak.
My wedding present for him was a picture of me in my wedding dress. I knew he was going to like that but, as tradition had it in the environment we were in, the groom was not suppose to see the bride in her wedding dress until she is coming down the aisle on the day of the wedding.
Wanting to make a good impression, but also mindful of him, I said, “I have a wedding present for you, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for it.â€
This was one of those “say it before you think†moments.
While a few of us knew the present was a picture of me, everyone else thought it was something else. Of course, when I realized what they were thinking, I know I turned five hundred shades of red amidst the laughter from the entire room.
April Fools Day was the next day. Yes, that was the day we chose for our wedding day. I venture to say it was an appropriate holiday considering what I said the evening before.
Sometimes it is better just not to say anything at all…or at least that is what the country song says.
As I was traveling back to Columbia from Charleston yesterday morning at 5:30, that song came on and it reminded me of the story I just mentioned.
I pondered that thought and remembered some of the most important times I had seen someone do something for someone else, without saying a word, and what a powerful impact that had on the person on the receiving end.
Even though there are those who do bad or not so nice things to others just to watch them suffer or hurt, there are many, many more who do thoughtful things without saying as much as a word.
It is that “act†that I want us to think about just a moment here. Hopefully, you’ve seen this in action. Someone will do something very nice for someone else. Maybe you are a regular at doing this kind of thing yourself.
These are some things I’ve seen happen before:
• A father – the sole breadwinner in the family – loses his job suddenly. He searches desperately for another but has no luck. They are three months behind on mortgage payments and can barely put food on the table. They receive a cashier’s check for $3,000 in the mail. Enough to pay the mortgage up and pay for food for awhile until he gets back to work. They never found out who shared that with them.
• The man who nurses his wife for years as she is in a coma….staying by her side constantly.
• A mother leaves an abusive situation with her young child. She has never worked outside the home and has a small child to take care of. A family, who needs a sitter for their children, offers her a room to stay with her small child if she will take care of their children as well.
• A group of young folks help build a Habitat for Humanity house for a friend whose family qualified for the program. They work, side by side, with the mother and sons to complete the house.
• The mother who cares for her children day in and day out.
• The grandparent who raised her grandchildren on her own when her daughter left them at her doorstep to go off with a man.
You could add yours here, I’m sure. This list could go on and on.
The fact of the matter is, often, your actions speak much louder than your words. You say it best, when you show, through actions, that you care or love someone. It’s the little (well, sometimes, the very big) things that count and make a difference.
These selfless acts are based on actions, not words. My attempts to describe them fall far short of what they mean to the ones involved. This is when, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all.â€
My wish for you today: That you are not only the recipient of one of those kinds of non verbal gestures, but that you practice giving that kind of care through your actions, not your words. Expecting nothing in return will make it even nicer for you and the recipient of your kindnesses.
~Joellen