{"id":558,"date":"2008-09-29T03:28:32","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T07:28:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/?p=558"},"modified":"2008-10-06T17:07:54","modified_gmt":"2008-10-06T21:07:54","slug":"the-bucket-list-for-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/?p=558","title":{"rendered":"The Bucket List for Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many of us have seen the movie \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Bucket List\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that came out in 2007.\u00c2\u00a0 Even if you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seen it, you probably know the term \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.\u00c2\u00a0 What you many not have considered is how that concept fits into your everyday life. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to relationships, I think a bucket list is essential.\u00c2\u00a0 Many of us have that list stored away in the recesses of our mind, but few of us probably look at it that way and even fewer may be marking things off the list regularly.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what do you need out of your life with that person you find yourself waking up next to?\u00c2\u00a0 Have you asked yourself the question \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What do I need to do in this relationship (or another one) before I die?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 What do I want to be with that man or woman I find myself so near to…and maybe, sometime, so far away from?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an interesting question to ponder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I had an exceptional marriage with my son\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s father.\u00c2\u00a0 As I look back on that time, it was not perfect.\u00c2\u00a0 It was, however, everything I thought I wanted in a relationship with the man I chose to marry over 30 years ago now.\u00c2\u00a0 We had our ups and downs, but the core of the relationship was based on trust, compassion, care, joy, love and growth. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We were married eleven years before he died 19 years ago. \u00c2\u00a0 We had two fabulous children, one of whom died when he was barely two.\u00c2\u00a0 It didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t last long enough for us to see where it would have gone and what kind of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d we might have made had we grown old together. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

In many ways, however, I think we lived a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d life.\u00c2\u00a0 You see, he was a minister and we saw way too many deaths happen suddenly not to have a vigor for life and doing things now instead of when we \u00e2\u20ac\u0153retired\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.\u00c2\u00a0 We did more living in those eleven years than many do in a lifetime…and there were no regrets for the time we spent together.\u00c2\u00a0 We had a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153half full glass\u00e2\u20ac\u009d relationship instead of a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153half empty\u00e2\u20ac\u009d one. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Since my husband\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s death, and for the past three years, I have been fortunate enough to be in a relationship with my college sweetheart, the man I dated right before I met my husband.\u00c2\u00a0 We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had some remarkably happy times.\u00c2\u00a0 He brought out my playful side and gave me great joy in many areas of my life. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

There were also some challenges we just could not seem to work around. \u00c2\u00a0We recently decided to call it quits.\u00c2\u00a0 It seemed to be the right thing for both of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever I find myself at the end of a project or trying to decide what to do in my life next, I make myself a list.\u00c2\u00a0 In this case, I guess you could call it a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d for relationships…for things I must have – for things I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to do without – for things I deserve in a good partnership. \u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As I move along in a new phase of my life, I wrote myself a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of what I need in a relationship if I am to thrive.\u00c2\u00a0 Here it is.\u00c2\u00a0 I have shared it with my closest friends and family so they could \u00e2\u20ac\u0153be on the lookout\u00e2\u20ac\u009d for someone who may have many of these qualities and is looking for someone who can enrich his life just as much as he can enrich mine. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My Relationship \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bucket List\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153…Meanwhile, if I get in another relationship, it will be with a man who is secure in himself, looks at life positively (at least most of the time), who has a great sense of humor, who savors life in many ways and is at least willing to try some new things, who has a good relationship with his family, who is financially responsible – not rich (necessarily) but who is secure in his financial state, who appreciates me regularly for what I do in our relationship, who will occasionally pamper me (…shoot…since I’m dreaming here…who will pamper me EVERY day), who is compassionate, who appreciates my being a part of the various\u00c2\u00a0activities\u00c2\u00a0of his life and who understands if I\u00c2\u00a0occasionally\u00c2\u00a0make different choices about being involved in them or not, someone who will remember how much I love flowers and who will send them to me without occasion “just because”, someone who knows I will give 100% and who will do his best to make me believe I am getting just a little more from him than that, who is grounded but not obsessed about his faith, who has the capability of encouraging me to be who I am\/will become while becoming who he is (and who knows he will be supported by me in that), someone who appreciates my love of music\/piano and will enjoy both listening to me and going with me to musical events, someone who is not scared of being spontaneously playful, someone who will want to take long walks with me, etc…not someone perfect but at least who has most of these qualities – some of which are obviously more negotiable than others…\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My wish for you today<\/strong> is that you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stay in a relationship rut without making an effort to facilitate positive change, make the change, or get out of the energy draining time you spend together that does not allow you to become who God made you.\u00c2\u00a0 Make that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bucket List\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and start working.\u00c2\u00a0 It will be well worth it to you in the long run. \u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

~ Joellen<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many of us have seen the movie \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Bucket List\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that came out in 2007.\u00c2\u00a0 Even if you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seen it, you probably know the term \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bucket list\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.\u00c2\u00a0 What you many not have considered is how that concept fits into your everyday life. \u00c2\u00a0 When it comes to relationships, I think a bucket list is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,27,45,42,4,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-living-life-to-the-fullest","category-love","category-making-wise-choices","category-relationships-marriage","category-relationships-singles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}