{"id":397,"date":"2007-09-12T10:42:11","date_gmt":"2007-09-12T14:42:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/?p=397"},"modified":"2007-09-16T15:54:33","modified_gmt":"2007-09-16T19:54:33","slug":"bullyingyou-can-do-something-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/?p=397","title":{"rendered":"Bullying…You CAN do Something About it!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you bullied? <\/span>Worse yet, is your child bullied by others? <\/font>Or, is it POSSIBLE you are a bully yourself?<\/font> <\/font>If you are bullied and continue to take that abuse off another adult, there are things you can and should do to make sure it stops. <\/span>Bullying is a form of intimidation and it destroys more people than you might think. <\/span>Just consider it emotional abuse. <\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

I know a number of grown adults that have been bullied by family members for years. <\/span>It’s a sad situation but I keep telling them there is<\/strong> a solution. <\/span>We discuss strategies over and over. <\/span>They say they have had enough but always seem to step back when they are “ready” to change. <\/span>I suspect they are getting something out of the situation and are not quite ready to deal with it effectively. <\/span>Of course, the bully is elated that they continue. It actually gives the bully something to keep things stirred up. <\/span>Believe me, the bully is getting something out of this, too.<\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

When an adult has lived with a bully situation all their lives, it is sad…but there are ways out. They just need to remember there is a better way until they are brave enough to handle it differently. <\/span>They can change, have years of adult maturity behind them and have the ability to do so when they are ready to make a change. <\/span>They can also choose to just avoid the bully as much as possible until the day they are brave enough to change.<\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

With children, it is different. <\/span>They are young and inexperienced, and they have likely had less opportunity to deal successfully with bullies before. <\/span>Many bully situations happen in the school setting but they also happen on playgrounds, in neighborhoods, on the street, etc. <\/span><\/font>When bullying happens away from school, it is often up to parents or other caring adults to help them deal with it. <\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

Sometimes, even their peers help. <\/span>There are, in other situations, young people who have no support and feel there is no way to get out of it. <\/span>If a parent does not have the skills to help, or the child does not feel comfortable enough to tell\/trust a parent or caregiver, then they often feel very isolated and alone in dealing with a bully or bullies. <\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

That can lead to, at worse, suicide and at best, an adult or other caring person who sees the bullying, reports it and it is dealt with so it no longer occurred. <\/span><\/font>In the school district I just retired from we had a no tolerance policy when it came to bullying. <\/span>When bullying was reported, it was dealt with consistently across the district. <\/span>Bullies simply are not tolerated. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

It took the district awhile to get to this point….lots of meetings, debates, incidents…but they did come to the conclusion that taking care of it this way was important.<\/font><\/span><\/font>I’m not sure how you feel about bullying. <\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

You may have been bullied as a kid and were told you needed to turn the other cheek, walk away, fight, or tell them to leave you alone. <\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font>There are some good techniques that are pretty successful with younger children today. <\/span>Student mediation by trained mediators often works well at this level when students have been trained as mediators and are well supervised. <\/span>It’s all a matter of preference…but most always a good thing to tell a counselor, teacher, or administrator if it is occurring at a school setting. <\/span>Then, make sure you talk about options with the school authorities and see what you can do as a team. <\/span>The first and most important thing is to make sure it is dealt with so students can go to school feeling fairly safe. <\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

My wish for you today<\/strong> is that you take a pro active approach to bullying if you see it going on or are involved in it yourself. <\/span>Volunteer in a school if you can and mentor if you can. <\/span>Students who are bullies are often lacking in the support at home to learn positive skills in dealing with conflict. If you are a bully, my wish for you today is that you find help.<\/strong> <\/span>You can get beyond this quickly with the right support and go on to be a happier you. <\/span> <\/span>For more information on bullying prevention\/treatment visit http:\/\/stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov<\/a><\/font><\/p>\n

~ Joellen<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

Consider getting involved at your local school and make a real difference in the life of a student:<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

What can a parent<\/strong> do in this situation?<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

1. maintain support of your child in a positive way
\n<\/font>2. make sure you are knowledgeable about the situation – call, conference, visit
\n<\/font>3. consider all your options when your child is in a difficult situation
\n<\/font>4. after gathering all the info and looking at all the options – make a decision that is right for your child…this is THE MOST important consideration in the equation.
\n<\/font>5. consider becoming a volunteer\/mentor to another student at the local school. <\/span>There are MANY students\/staff who could use your help. Make sure you are aware you have to clear a SLED check first.<\/font><\/p>\n

What can a teacher<\/strong> do in this situation?<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

1. Make sure you are aware of what goes on with your students in class, on the playground and in other places as appropriate.
\n<\/font>2. Don’t be scared to talk with a student who is aggressive or sad. <\/span>They are telling you they are not happy.
\n<\/font>3. Refer troubled students to counselors, social workers, mental health counselors or refer to student assistance team meetings to strategize on the best plan of action
\n<\/font>4. Make sure you collaborate with parents\/school staff when you can on any issues that are important about your students. <\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

What can an administrator<\/strong> do in this situation?<\/font><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

1. Don’t tolerate bullying anywhere and anytime in your school.
\n<\/font>2. Insist teachers are at their door in between classes to watch the hall\/class for any questionable activities.
\n<\/font>3. Be visible and accessible to students so they know you care and want to assure the safety of all your children.
\n<\/font>4. If you have parents complaining – listen, understand, strategize with parent, do not make excuses, tell the parent what you are doing to help make the situation better and follow-up with the parent to see how things are going once changes are in place.
\n<\/font>5. Find mentors for students who need extra support. <\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

What can a Business<\/strong> do to help?<\/font><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

1. Consider the gifts, talents and resources of your organization. <\/span>Could you use any of those to support your school\/district in their efforts to educate your future workforce? If so…
\n<\/font>2. Get involved in schools as a volunteer. <\/span>If you are a large organization, offer to let your staff go to a school district volunteer training program and volunteer one hour a week from their schedule. <\/span>Prepare some type of short accountability process with school or in your business so staff lets you know, in writing, how their efforts are going. Make sure you are aware that all volunteers must clear a SLED check first.
\n<\/font>3. Support faithful and productive staff that wants to volunteer at schools on a regular basis. <\/span>Ask them to tell others of their experience during staffings\/meetings.
\n<\/span><\/font>4. <\/span>When you see or hear of a need you can financially contribute to, do so. <\/span>Most school districts have 501c3 organizations you can run that money through for special projects.<\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

What can a Volunteer<\/strong> do to help?<\/font> <\/font><\/strong><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

1. <\/span>Consider your gifts and talents and how you could use them in a school setting. <\/font><\/p>\n

2. If you have some time on a regular basis to volunteer, offer to do so at your local school. Make sure you are aware you must have a clean SLED check in order to be a school volunteer. <\/font><\/p>\n

3. Consider being a mentor. <\/span>If you are willing, complete the training and keep your school contact updated on your progress. You should expect to complete a brief report on your efforts at least monthly. <\/font><\/p>\n

4. Invite others you know that are seniors, retirees, etc to come volunteer as well. <\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you bullied? Worse yet, is your child bullied by others? Or, is it POSSIBLE you are a bully yourself?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conflicts","category-education"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}