For the past several weeks I’ve had dinner with some rather large groups of folks. I’ve found myself talking with people who had a spouse to die recently. Since I have had a similar experience, I suppose we just gravitated toward each other and there were lots of “memories” being shared.<\/p>\n
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Impending holidays will do that to you sometimes.<\/p>\n
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My husband has been dead about 19 years now – much longer than I knew him. He died February 13th after a long illness. Around this time of year I am reminded of our good times together.<\/p>\n
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He suggested before his death that I remarry. “Just don’t bring him to the funeral.” He said jokingly.<\/p>\n
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Even in death his good sense of humor prevails.<\/p>\n
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The two men I was in a conversation with last night were in the mood to tell stories about their loved ones. I suspect that, for them as well, Valentine’s Day and other holidays bring memories of the good times rushing back.<\/p>\n
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As we talked they also had funny as well as touching stories to share about their deceased spouses. I could tell they were still adjusting to the deaths. It sometimes can take an amazingly long time to get back to even some bit of normalcy in one’s life after a death of someone who was a soulmate.<\/p>\n
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The one thing I did glean from both these men was that they were full of good memories.<\/p>\n
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We agreed that was a true blessing to be able to think of those good times and to have so many of them.<\/p>\n
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Even though no one’s marriage is perfect, it’s the good times we will often remember after a loved one is gone.<\/p>\n
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My wish for you today<\/strong> – if your spouse or significant other died recently<\/strong> – is that you gain strength from those good memories as you adjust to that loss. Just one word of caution here, one must be careful not to put the deceased spouse on a pedestal or to hold on too long to memories that it keeps one from moving on in the present. All that said, however, embracing the good times will often direct you to the next path life will take you down. My wish for you today- if you are currently in a loving relationship<\/strong> – is that you live everyday to the fullest and don’t hold on too long to the less than perfect times in your relationship. Life is just TOO short to keep from fully loving and living. And finally, my wish for you today – if you know of someone who recently lost that special person in their lives<\/strong> – is that you remember them around the holidays and drop them a card or give them a call and just listen. That will mean so much in their adjustment.<\/p>\n \n ~Joellen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For the past several weeks I’ve had dinner with some rather large groups of folks. I’ve found myself talking with people who had a spouse to die recently. Since I have had a similar experience, I suppose we just gravitated toward each other and there were lots of “memories” being shared. Impending holidays will do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,16,27,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","category-life-events","category-living-life-to-the-fullest","category-releationships-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=164"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reflectionsfromacountrygirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}